Tuesday, August 29, 2006


Guess who gets a REAL bath tomorrow?
Her umbilical stump just fell off, leaving her with the cutest belly button ever.


Birth Story Part 2

So, off to recovery I go. I was feeling really pukey at this point, so once they got me settled, they gave me something for it. Why don't they make that stuff available to us when we are pregnant and walking around looking green???

I fell asleep for awhile, and when I came to, Todd was standing there. He told me Maya was beautiful and perfect and that he loved me. He asked me how I was doing, and told me that everyone was getting nervous because I had been in recovery for awhile now (2 hours at that point). For some reason they didn't have a room for me. I was down there for 3 hours. I started getting pissed off at this point. So the nurse that was tending to me got on the phone, got pretty stern with someone, and had me outta there in about 20 minutes. When they wheeled me to the room, everyone was standing outside waiting for me, including my brother and my sister-in-law. That was nice, as I was not expecting them.

After getting me settled, we called the nursery for them to bring Maya to us, and THAT took WAY too long. Todd started humming to the nurses and they got her to us after that.

I unswaddled her so I could see her, all of her. She is so precious and perfect in every way. Even her little chicken legs. LOL

The next few days were rough, as if I did not ask for pain meds, they did not bring them to me. So we made it a point to make sure I had meds every 4 hours and I was ok. The gas was unbelievable. It hurt. A lot. It made it so that I could not move at all at times. Ugh. The food stunk, but only because they didn't send me half of the stuff I ordered half the time. The actual quality of the food was really not bad at all.

Anyway, that is really all there is to tell. We have been home for awhile now. Maya is two weeks old today. Her little cheeks are getting plump. She is more alert. And I love her more and more each day.

I sleep when she sleeps. The housework can wait! I value my sanity more than clean floors. Besides, Todds been taking care of all of that for me. He is amazing, and seeing him with her makes me melt.

Seeing my Mom with her has the same effect as well. *sigh*
She is bringing such joy to my family, and that is so wonderful to witness.

And with that, I am off.

Monday, August 28, 2006

Finally (part 1)

The birth story...

Wednesday morning when the alarm went off (at 4freakingo'clock), I awoke to a wicked dry mouth. Of course. Because I cannot have anything to drink! I was even told not to swallow any water when brushing my teeth. Ugh. I cheated and sucked on a small ice cube that I plucked from the bunch while filling a cooler with...water!

My Mom had spent the night, and followed us to the hospital. I drove. I was getting too nervous to be the passenger. I have never had any kind of surgery before. I was fine with it all until Wednesday morning. Then the thoughts of someone cutting me open, while I am awake started to leave me feeling a wee bit unsettled, to say the least.

When we got to the hospital, Heather was there waiting for us, snapping pictures as we walked in. I checked in at the front desk and was immediately taken back to pre-op. I didn't even get to say anything to Todd who was busy digging out the video camera. I knew I would see him in a bit, so I didn't panic...

Once back there, I had to change into a gown, pee, get an IV, get hooked up to all the stuff that they hook you up to when having surgery. I met the anesthesiologist (from this point forward known as the spinal guy...that is much easier to type out!), who asked me if I had any questions. I did not. Then they brought my family back. So there we are, me in bed with my ass hanging out the back of a hospital gown, Heather who graciously covered said ass, my Mom, Todd and eventually his parents. When one of the O/R nurses came in, she was surprised to find so many people! Doc M came by and asked if we were ready to have a baby. You could feel the electricity in that little curtained area rise considerably! Every one was so excited. I was too, but suddenly felt as if I was going to hurl...

I got lots of hugs and kisses and good lucks, and was on my way. As they wheeled me down the hall, I couldn't help but to cry, as thoughts of my Dad started creeping in.

As they wheeled me around the corner, I felt the temperature drop considerably. What is up with that?? It was freaking cold... Anyway, we get in there, I get off the bed and onto the operating table. A nurse comes over to me and braces me, telling me how I need to be still blah blah. Spinal guy comes over and I tell him to just do what he's gotta do, I don't need a play by play.

I got the play by play anyway. Ugh. So he numbs the area and starts to do his thing. Only he cannot get it where it needs to go. I feel pain shooting down to my butt and it made me jerk a little. It was totally involuntary. He asks what is wrong and so I told him, he gave me more numbing stuffs and then I heard him ask for a smaller needle. About 20 seconds later he told me that I should start to feel it right away.

What an odd feeling. I immediately got warm. Again this brought about thoughts of my Dad. I remember when he used to have his tests done on his heart, and they would shoot die into his heart, his heart would pump once and he would get all warm. The first time the did this to him, he thought he wet himself lol. And I thought the same thing. I said "Ut oh, I think I just peed!" LOL

The nurse assured me that I did not, and they swung my legs up on the table and I laid down. The pins and needles portion of this whole thing SUCKED. I HATE pins and needles. Thankfully it did not last long at all.

Now, I really do not like any part of me being numb. So what did I do? I tried to move my leg. And it freaked me the hell out! Spinal guy was now talking to me, telling me that I needed to relax. The nurse, who had braced me during the spinal, says to me "We had to give you something to up your blood pressure..." Spinal says "And now its going too high.."

Well, it was going too high because I could feel the numbness moving up into my chest, arms and hands and I was starting to panic. I felt as if I couldn't breathe. Again with the thoughts of my Dad. I could not help but wonder if that is what is was like for him, not being able to breathe. Ugh. What an AWFUL feeling.

Spinal came over and put his fingers in my hand and asked me to squeeze, which I did, despite the friggin' pins and needles. He then told me that I REALLY needed to relax, and that even though it FELT like I could not breathe, they were monitoring me and I was breathing just fine.

At that point, I got really calm. Instantly. He looked at me and asked if I was ok. I said "Yeah, why?" He just said mumbled something about my bp dropping to normal really fast and walked away, sort of shrugging his shoulders.

This may sound crazy, but THAT was my Dad... The only other time in my whole life that I have felt that, was the day he died. When we got back from Jax, from Marks funeral, to the Hospice where they had taken my Dad that day..and I walked in the room where they had him in a bed, I lost my shit. I seriously thought my heart was going to die right there in that room. I threw myself across him as I cried. I tried real hard to get ahold of myself, and when I pulled away from him, and looked around the room at my family, I sat down. And that same feeling enveloped me.


I digress...

So, now they bring Todd in. His eyes looked big as saucers to me. He asked me if I was ok, and I said 'Yes, I am fine." He squeezed my hand (argh pins and neeeeedles) and I asked him to please not do that again! I explained why..and we talked like there was not people cutting me open.

When it was time for them to take her out of me, the nurse asked Todd if he would like to see his baby be born, and he jumped up so fast that it scared me! I was really surprised, as he is sorta squeamish. He watched them take her out, and he gasped "OMG! She's beautiful!!!" He reached down and squeezed me hand again, but this time I didn't care. My gaze was fixed on the nurse who was holding up my screaming daughter for me to see. My eyes filled with tears, I squeezed Todds hand, and then I asked if there was anyone else in there being operated on. I got a lot of odd looks, then I stated how she was a LOT smaller than I had thought she would be. I said "THAT is what has been kicking the crap out of me for the last 2 months??" That got some laughs, and Doc M peered over the drape and says to me "Yuh, she is a lot smaller than I thought too!!"

So, the nurses were cleaning her off and doing all that stuff they do to newborns, then they swaddled her and brought her to us. They put her in my arms, and I lost it. I could barely see her through the tears. They let Todd and I spend almost 10 minutes with her before they all left for the nursery. At this point I am almost sure they hit me with the morphine because I started to feel REALLY high. One of the nurses saw my fighting to keep my eyes open, and she told me to go ahead and take a nap. So I did. Although I could hear everything that was going on around me. It was odd.

Doc M was calling my name, and I struggled to open my eyes. He congratulated me, told me that I was good to go to recovery and wished me the best. So off to recovery....and the rest will have to wait because Maya is finally asleep and I need to go to bed now!!

Thursday, August 24, 2006

No More

I do not want any more comments on the previous post please, that goes for all of you, my friends included. I appreciate you all coming to my defense, but this is Mayas blog and I should have just emailed Amy, like I would have wanted her to do.

I was just pissed that she commented over here instead of registering over at JAJ, and leaving her comments there. This is not the place for any of this. I do not want to have to shut off the comments, but I will. I do not post here for validation, I post here to keep friends and family up to speed on things, as I can.

-the management


Ok, since she called me on it in my comments.. here goes. The rest of you can disregard this post.

First of all Amy, yes, I assumed it was you hitting my site, because I knew you read both here and at Tiki. I also assumed that Dave hit the site occasionally as well, looking for the dirt. However, there will be no dirt, as unlike you two, we have moved on.

You act as if what I was going to post was about you (Dave), I wonder why that is so? Why are you both so interested in what I was going to post? Hmmm? Pfft.

Let me ask you this? How would either one of you feel if the other suddenly wanted to die? How would you feel, looking into the eyes of the other, and seeing NOTHING looking back at you? Nothing but an empty shell of the person you love? How would you feel, sitting there helplessly as the other crumbled, personally, emotionally, professionally?

I am not sure what you two believe, or know to be true. I am not sure either of you care. But until you have lived with someone who is bipolar, you should NOT come to your own conclusions. You, being the good christian folk that you are, I (we) figured there would be some understanding there, at least from Dave.

So, with that, go away then. There will be no post to make your head spin. So sorry to disappoint you both.

And no more comments regarding the issue either please. If you have something else to say, you have my phone number, and you have my email address. This blog is about Maya.

Monday, August 21, 2006

More coming soon!

First, I want to thank you all for the wonderful comments and emails and such!!
I will post her birth story and all that soon...for now though, a photo or two!

Sleeping Beauty, taken by Daddy

At the hospital, snuggling with Mom

Hangin' with Gramma! Big yawn!! Either that or she's all "ENOUGH with the camera already people..."

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Maya Noel is here!!!

Hey all its Heather..

Sorry for the delay here is the pretty girl..
August 16, 2006
6 lbs 6.5 oz
20 inches long

Welcome to the world pretty girl you look just like your daddy..

Monday, August 14, 2006


Surgery has been scheduled for Wednesday at 7 a.m.
August 16th will be Maya's birthday....

Holy. SHIT.

If you blog it, they will call...

I had another Doc appointment today. They hooked me up to the monitors for 20 minutes. Her heartbeat is good and strong, she was moving all over the place too...making all kinds of noise. :O)

When Dr. M checked me, he sort of grimaced, and shook his head no. Ugh. I was so disappointed. "Nothing happening, still closed tight."

He told me that we could wait and see if I go on my own. He told me we could try an induction, and he told me we could just schedule a section. Those are my three options. However, after a discussion with two other Docs that have seen me recently, they all agree that the chances of this kid fitting through my pelvis are slim to none. He mentioned something about some part of the pelvis (? i totally don't remember!) being in the way and that the baby cannot move down further. An induction would be a waste of time and energy. He says "I cannot TELL you what to do here. I CAN recommend, for the health and safety of you AND the baby, to schedule the section. WE could TRY a vaginal birth, but I really do not think that will happen..."

So I am waiting on a call back from the Docs about the date that our daughter will be born. We were aiming for this Wednesday, Thursday or Friday.


NOW I am freaking out. Heh. I have been cool as can be this whole time. Now though I feel, WOW. Like I am gonna throw up.


I need to go clean her room. Again. If they don't call within the next 15 minutes I am going to be really pissed. Don't leave me sitting here like that, you know?? Ugh

I will post more when I know more.....

Sunday, August 13, 2006

This is a TOTAL TMI post

So I thought I was going to be one of the lucky ones. HAH!
*drinks metamucil*

I have pretty much skated through this pregnancy. Yeah I have had some swelling, and the ligament pain a few months back threw me for a loop. Oh and the headaches. Good LORD the headaches. I had a small bout with constipation early on too. Thankfully all of that subsided. Aside from being tired, REALLY tired, it has been a lot better than I ever anticipated.

Until just now.

I was sweating. Profusely. Crying. Praying to Jesus. No joke. Afterwards I sat in the shower and my whole body shook. I cried some more.

And all I can think right now is this; if I cannot push out THAT, how am I gonna push out a 7 pound HUMAN BEING???

I need a nap....


Nothing yet.

Obviously. LOL

Friday, August 11, 2006

Holy shit. Week 40!

I can NOT believe that it is August 11th. Time has just flown by.
I want to smack that ticker up there right off the page. She has NOT arrived. Of course. If she had there would be photographic evidence and much celebration going on.

Keep a watch on this space though. Laptop goes with to the hospital! As does the camera! I guess I better show Todd how to use this thing so he can upload some photos when she comes.

We have even contemplated setting up the webcam. LOL. NOT. Contemplated yes, doing it? No.

I am so ready.

And you know, I have never done this before, so this odd sensation I am getting? Not sure what it is. Could be a contraction. Does not hurt. Feels like maybe shes just trying to stretch out. If I am sitting, I have to stand up. It is very uncomfy. My belly gets hard, but only one the side that shes on..usually the right.

It is very weird.

Heartburn woke me up out of a blissfull sleep. I had a migraine all damned day yesterday. Ugh. Glad that it is gone.

Oh and another thing. Everyone keeps talking about the overwhelming urge to clean? Not here. This place is a sty. You outta see my floors. *screams*
I am too damned tired to think about all the cleaning that needs to be done. Does that make me lazy and bad?? Cause I am feeling like I SHOULD be cleaning. I just honestly don't have it in me. At this point, taking a shower exhausts me. I don't even bother drying off anymore. I just stand in front of my fan and air dry. Seriously.

And most days I don't even shower til like 5...ugh.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006


Nothin' doin'...

Everything is ok, she is just not ready yet I guess. They estimated her weight to be around 6 pounds 10 ounces, based on measurements. Yeah, I got an ultrasound.. :O)
I also had a non-stress test because she has been unusually still the last two days. Everything checked out fine.

My next appointment is Monday morning at 9:30.

My feet look like sausages again, so I am carting my fat ass off to the recliner for a bit. I REALLY wish I had something else to report!!

Monday, August 07, 2006

Week 40 approaching...........

Still pregnant. I have an appointment tomorrow...I am not sure what will happen. They will either set me up with an induction date, or make me wait til next week since my due date isn't until Friday.


I am pretty sure that the ol' cervix is still all Fort Knox-like. Only thing I am feeling is dog ass tired.

So I am off for another nap....

Friday, August 04, 2006


I guess she is feeling ultra snuggly up in here cause there ain't nothin' doin' yet.

She is not moving around with reckless abandon anymore either. I still feel her move, just not nearly as much. Which helps with the whole sleeping thing. So I am able to get some good sleep time (sometimes) but that is interrupted with WEIRD ass dreams.

Bah. I am going back to bed...

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

For Maya

I always saw myself getting married, owning a home, and having children. Then I got married. And deep down inside I knew it was all wrong. My outlook on having children changed drastically. There was even a point where I DID get pregnant (despite all efforts to AVOID that!), and when I miscarried, it did not phase me in the least. That made me feel like a very bad person. But even now, looking back on it all, I am still SO glad it worked out the way it did. Because that marriage WAS all wrong, and I cannot imagine myself being tied to that person and his awful family for the rest of my life. I cannot imagine what that whole situation would have done to a child. What a nightmare...ugh.

So then, I meet your Dad. He was in the same situation, with the whole bad marriage and all. He too, never wanted children. After being together for a few years, getting married and buying the house, things changed. I remember that morning like it was yesterday. We were sitting out on the patio as the sun was coming up. We were having a long discussion over our coffee about how good life was for us. We have each other, we have a good family support system, we have good friends. We were just taking an inventory of our lives, and realizing that something was missing.

That something was you.

Your Dad looked at me and said "Maybe we ought to consider starting a family..."
It was as simple as that. My heart smiled, and I knew at that very moment just how much I wanted you.

We started trying right away, as my Dad, your Poppy, was very sick. He and I were extremely close and it was very very important to me that you two know each other.
The powers-that-be had other plans though, as we did not conceive you until 5 months after he passed on.

I like to think that you had some time with him before you came to us. I have had dreams where I see him holding a baby, talking to it, loving it, and I assume it is you. They say you cannot dream in color, yet I clearly remember the baby he is holding is wrapped up in a fuzzy pink blanket.

And even though you come to us long after he has gone, your timing was still impeccable.

I was having a very difficult time in dealing with my Dad dying. I was drinking heavily, and really not facing reality very well. I was out of a job, and I was beginning to wonder if I had an actual drinking problem, as I could not seem to put the stuff down. I was drinking a LOT. As in getting hammered just about every night. It was the only time the pain in my heart was dulled. I KNEW that in the morning when I woke up, the pain and the reality of it all would still be there. Yet I continued to drink heavily.

The moment I assumed that I just MAY be pregnant, I put the bottle down and haven't looked back. And for that I thank you, because that was a bad road that I was on.
I am sure that I still put a lot of stress on you, because for a long time I cried myself to sleep at night, thinking about how your Poppy and your Uncle Mark would never get to do the things that they would have wanted to do with you. I would sob uncontrollably. I never knew I could cry like that.

The tears still come when I think about them, but I have a bit more control now over how upset I allow myself to get. Besides, I can see them both cringe when I lose my shit, so I try hard not to do that anymore.

I try to focus on all of the positives. Your Grammy and MeMaw already love you beyond words, as does your Papa. And as for your Daddy and I, well, you already leave us speechless and in awe. Our friends and extended family all anxiously await your arrival. They were very giving at the baby shower, and saw to it that we have everything we could possibly need for you. You will have a great start, with lots of love, lots of snuggling..lots of everything! We really cannot wait to meet you, Maya Noel. Our love for you surpasses anything we ever considered, or dreamt about.

Just do Mommy ONE leeeetle favor?? Please come before the start of the NFLs PreSeason, mmk? *winks*

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Week 38

No change from last week.


Doc looks at my chart, looks at me and says "Good to see you are alive this week..."
I shoot her a look of utter confusion, and she says "Your blood pressure was 120/88, higher than your average 90/60..."


My BP has always been on the low side. She said no worries though because it is still within normal range, no protein in the ol' urine, and no change with my cervix.


Maya IS running out of room though. I have an appt. on the 8th, if there is no change at that point, then we schedule an induction.


And with that I am off to nap. I am running on empty here....


It's August.


This month I will become a MOM.

Holy Schnikes.


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