Sunday, February 26, 2006

Drano test results

Well, the Drano test was performed this morning.

And it says girl. Which was my gut feeling. We know this isn't a sure way to determine gender, but we wanted to do it anyway! Our next ultrasound is still a few weeks away, so we just have to wait and see what happens then. But my money is on girl..

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Week 15 - the skinny....

So, my 15th week has gone by with ease. I have experienced some muscle cramps in my hips, and I am very well aware of the ligament stretching that is going on. Oy.

The baby moved the other day in a BIG way. I had gotten a cramp, and had twisted myself around to get out of bed in a hurry. I felt the baby move, all the way over to the right. It was SO odd. I had this huge lump there where it was. After a few minutes, it went back to where it had previously been. I have to wonder if it was my fast movements that pissed it off, or if the muscle spasm was that deep, and disturbed my uterus. It hurt like a mofo, man. It hurt to walk for two days after because my hip was so sore!

I am not eating as I should be. I am craving grease in a big way. French fries, pizza, wings. I need to cut it out. I still have not gained any weight. A hop on the scale today showed a loss of another pound. I am not drinking as much water as I should be either, so I am working on that as well. I find these moments of bad eating do not last long, but it still leaves me feeling bad because I am not doing what is best. Ugh.

I am finally sleeping at night. Which is nice. I get up in the morning with Todd most days and just stay more naps. And my house is clean! I guess I should take pleasure in that while I can...

And now onto something that I find myself getting really annoyed with...
I have been reading various pregnancy journals here and there, and I found a few who were all thin and fit before pregnancy. They now have a baby belly, no fat, no nothin', just baby, and they whine about how they feel like a fat cow. I am sorry, but I want to smack these people.

I have battled with my weight problem for years. It is genetic, along with hormonal. I have had periods of bad eating, but I eat NO different than most people. It is just that because of the hormonal imbalances that I have, whatever I eat goes right to my gut, or my ass, or my arms..whatever. I do not process foods like you thin people do. Which is why I have always tried to eat right and exercise. I have a killer body under this weight. My muscle tone would put most people to shame.

So when I see some skinny ass bitching, I want to scream. You do not know how lucky you are..

And then...THEN...I read one gal who was all "I don't know how fat people have sex because my belly is so totally in the way"

GGRRRrrrr. I will tell you how us fat folks have sex...just like you do! I am not THAT big. I am big all over, but it is pretty proportional. I have never had a problem, any place, any..uh..position (god I hope my mother doesnt read this...) and any time. Now, I do know that really large people who have bellies that get in the way and stuff have issues, so maybe that is what she was thinking of. I just took offense because I am hormonal and considered obese, and it offended me a bit.

I wish these pregnant gals well. I won't be going back to read them just because I cannot NOT comment when they whine about being fat. Puh-lease...

The gals that I DO read (and many of them skinnies) are wonderful and I am happy that they choose to share in the experience. I am also glad that they don't make us larger gals feel like hogs.

I am doing my best (ok, minus the pizza binges) to keep my weight gain to under 15 pounds. At 4 months pregnant and no gain yet, I think I am doing pretty good!

And with that, I am off for an afternoon walk...

oh! One more thing...drano test tomorrow morning. !!!! This whole gender thing is driving me CRAZY. I really think I just want to ...not refer to the baby as 'it' anymore! That seems so impersonal, yah know?

I will post the results tomorrow.

p.s. This post was NOT intended to piss off thin pregnant women. I KNOW the problem is with me, and not them. I was just, my apologies if your skinny self is sitting there thinking "Hmmphh.Bitch" LOL

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Week 14

Dare me to go out in public with this thing strapped to me???


You know, I don't care how practical that thing may be, I don't think I could use it. Not without giggling like a complete moron...

So, we purchased a crib and a 3 drawer dresser/changing table on Saturday. We got the Babys Dream Generation Next set, all we need is the dresser/hutch combo, which we will get in a few weeks. We got it in Amber. I am so not thrilled with the color at all, but we got it because the store we went to is going out of business, and we got a $580 crib for $350, with the mattress, and the dresser was $459 and we got it for $299. So, I think for that kind of savings, I can get used to the color. While in the store, I started to develop a migraine. We went right home, where I proceeded to pack my head in ice packs. I went to bed. For 5 hours I lay there in misery, unable to sleep. Todd kept changing out the ice packs and bringing me fresh water. I got up around 8, and sat on the couch for awhile. As long as I was completely still, it was ok. Todd went to bed, on the futon, so I could have the bed all to myself. I went back to bed around 11:30, and fell asleep almost immediately, despite my pounding head. When I awoke around 3 a.m. to pee, it was almost gone. I went back to bed, and when I awoke at 5 a.m., it was completely gone. Todd got up around 6, and since I was wide awake, we went for a nice long walk around the neighborhood. We came back home, fooled around (woot) and took a nap. When I woke up around 11 a.m., the headache was back. I was SO pissed off. Todd had to go back to the furniture store to pick up the dresser, as it had been at a warehouse. I stayed home, in bed, in misery. I got up around 1 p.m., Todd made me lunch, and the misery continued until just a little while ago.

I really hope that I can have a few days before I get hit with another migraine. They take so much out of me. Other than that, I feel great. My skin is a mess though. I can barely hide the mess with makeup. Not happy about that, but what can I do, yah know?

I know that some people have it far worse than I do, so I need to quit bitching!!!

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Scare of my life....

We had our appointment with the new OB this morning. I woke up feeling slightly sickly, and I tried to choke down some fruit and water. We were the first appointment. I filled out all of the paperwork that they were supposed to send me in the mail last week, and then a lady came and got me. She weighed me (down 3 pounds...heh) and pricked my finger (I HATE that..) took my blood pressure and then made me pee in a cup.

After that, the Doc came right out to get us. We chatted for a bit, then she took us into an exam room. It took her 20 minutes to come back, and that sorta sucked. Anyway, she did an internal exam (weee!) and then broke out the doppler since we had never heard the heartbeat. She couldn't find it. Ugh. She said not to worry, as sometimes the baby is just behind the placenta. She told us to go out and wait in the seating area for an ultrasound. Fine. But then I heard her telling someone that she was concerned, because I went through the first 12 weeks with no morning sickness..and now I am sick and nauseated a lot. *blinks*

I tried to remain calm. Really I did. I wanted to throw up, and I had to reallllly talk myself out of a mini-panic attack. We had to wait almost an hour and a half! Finally she comes to get us. We go in, I hop up on the table, she puts the goo on my tummy, and there on the screen is our baby, wriggling around like a maniac. At first it looked like it didn't have legs, then it kicked them both out like a litte frog. It was punching and stretching and rolled over and we could see baby booty.

It took her awhile to get the heartbeat too, because of all of the movement, and the baby is indeed behind the placenta. She finally got it though, at 162 bpm.

It was the single most amazing thing I have ever experienced. I cannot get over it, at ALL. She printed out some pics for us, and I will post them here, but you cannot see its arms and legs because it WOULD NOT STAY STILL!

The next ultrasound will be around 20 weeks, at which point we can find out if it is a boy or a girl.

I have to say, that after hearing the heartbeat, and seeing an actual BABY in there, it is certainly a lot more real to me now.

Holy. sHIT. !!!

That top one, it looks like an alien! Just below the two hemispheres of the brain (the part at the top that looks like alien eyes) you can sorta see eyes, nose and mouth...
It has its legs pulled up in typical baby fashion in both pics, so it looks legless, and the arms, well, they are just little blurs. That baby did NOT stop moving around, no doubt caused by my stress. I feel sorta bad for stressing it out, but damn, I tried my hardest to remain was NOT easy.

I am just glad that it all turned out ok.


Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Jenhen wanna cracker?


I have had NO morning sickness at all. Maybe a twinge of nausea here and there, but that is it. Until last night. Holy.Crap.

I started getting a headache just before bed. I had only gotten about 4 hours of sleep the night before, and yesterday I worked most of the day and then cleaned the hell out of my house, did laundry etc. I ended up taking an hour snooze around 7 so that I would be awake to watch 24. I felt like shit. After 24, and some news, I grabbed an ice pack for my head and I hit the hay. I woke up at around 2:30 with an awful tummy ache. I went to the bathroom, then went to get another ice pack, as my head hurt worse now than it did earlier. That is when it hit me and it hit me hard. There was NO way I was going to allow myself to hurl at that point. My head hurt WAY too much. I nibbled on some crackers, I sipped some Ginger Ale. That didn't help. I chowed a few Tums. That kicked the severity of it down a notch or two. Then I had a panic attack. I don't know why, haven't had one in years! I went outside at that point because I felt all closed in. The air was cool and crisp. It was a gorgeous morning (3 am!) and I really just tried to focus on that. A little while later I was ok enough to go back to sleep. I was SO tired.

I slept until about 7:45, when Todd woke me up before he went to work. The headache was gone but the nausea was still there and I really had to struggle not to puke. I waited until Todd left, then I got up. I figured I would just go hurl and hopefully feel better, only I couldn't hurl! My tummy hurt again, so back to the bathroom I went. And then again like 20 minutes later. I wonder if it was something that I ate just not agreeing with me?

I made some scrambled eggs, as my tummy was now growling rather loudly. I had some tea, did some work, then took a 2 hour nap. When I got up, the nausea was slight. I had some yogurt, and more tea (water is making me gag...) did a little more work, then around 3, I took another 2 hour nap. I have been ok since then. Waves of nausea here and there, but nothing like last night or this morning.

I have a Docs appointment tomorrow morning. I pray to the powers that be that I do not feel like I did this morning, cause there is no way I will make it out of this house.

bah. I got cocky I guess, boasting of how I never had morning sickness.



Saturday, February 04, 2006

Hello Second Trimester

Tomorrow I enter into my second trimester.
This absolutely blows my mind. A few weeks ago, time seemed as if it were standing still. Yet when I look back, it really has gone by quickly.

I don't feel pregnant, other than my boobs being a bit painful. The sleepiness and the crankiness, as well as the queasyness, has all disappeared. I have an odd craving here and there. We went out to eat the other day ( i cannot get enough Mexican food...) and Todd had a Margarita. I almost cried because I wanted one so badly!! NOT fair, that whole 'NO Alcohol' thing. *pouts*

All joking aside, I really have only craved ice cream and steak. I have indulged only slightly in the ice cream. Because I am overweight, I need to be careful with the weight gain. So far, I have not gained anything. I know that now I have to step up the calorie intake a bit, so I can expect to gain a bit from here on out. I just have to be careful and make smart food choices. I am all stocked up with fruits and veggies, whole grain goodies, and a host of other good stuff. I also need to up the exercise, which has been nil since all I did was sleep.

I am dying to know what this baby is. I want to know so badly. I really tried to just put it out of my mind. If ONE MORE person tells me about how 'back in the day we had no choice but to wait til birth' I am going to scream. This isn't 'back in the day" this is NOW and I want to know! Dammit.

I am also hoping that everything is as it should be. Things like spina bifida scare the shit out of me. I don't care what the sex is really, I just want this baby to have all its parts, and all in the right places and such.

I watched one of those shows on Discovery Health the other day about a baby born without a damned face. I don't know why I do that to myself. Gah. So I sit here and wonder, and hope that all is as it should be. After the last year that I have had, I do not think I could handle, no, wait. I KNOW I could NOT handle any sort of devastating news like that.

We have a Doc appointment on the 8th. I will be 13 and a half weeks at that time.
Wish me luck!! And send calming vibes for my nerves..please!

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