Thursday, June 15, 2006
Where has the time gone??
I have been under a bit of emotional distress this last week or so. I am trying really hard to relax, as I worry what it does to Maya. It is hard though. I think about her pending birth, and the fact that my Dad will never hold her, and it eats me up inside..
The one year anniversary of my Dads passing (and Marks) is right around the corner and it is weighing on me quite heavily. Today is also the 16 year anniversary of my Grandpas passing and that just blows.my.mind. I doesn't FEEL like its been 16 years.
We have also had a lot of other personal shit going on that I really do not want to post about. But it has made life a big, huge mess for the both of us during a time when we are supposed to be happy. I know life isn't fair. I know I should just be thankful for what we DO have, but it is hard. We are doing the best we can though. We will get through it, just like everything else.
It is just hard to wonder when the shit will stop piling up on top of us...
Ok, so a question. We have a border we want to put up in Mayas room and I will be damned if we can get it to stick! It is prepasted...We ended up stapling the shit up there LOL. You can't see the staples thankfully, but what a pain in the ass. This isn't rocket science, you know? The middle sticks ok in most places, but the top and bottom WILL NOT STICK. Argh.
I am feeling Mayas kicks farther up these days, and my bladder feels as if it is her personal punching bag. Oy. The heartburn is still relentless. I should buy stock in TUMS, and Mylanta...Other than that, nothing much is going on. Do not feel much like blogging with all that we have going on around here. I cannot blog the personal stuff because hubby would slay me...even though it would be a great outlet for me. Plus, people involved read the ol blog. At least I think they do. They used to anyway. One of those people we considered a good friend, and the hurt there is pretty deep. Bastard.
Annywayy. I need to just leave it at that! I cannot believe that I am going to be hitting week 32. HOLY CRAP!!
I know what you mean about having an outlet by blogging stuff. I sometimes just put stuff in a journal where nobody will ever see it so maybe something like that would help.
Congrats on making it to week 31, it won't be long now.
However, I miss that smell of babyhead. Bigtime.
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