MotherHen

thanks Lionel

2008-11-29T22:11:00.000-05:00

The bes thing that I took from my first marriage was... Fettucine. Yes. Fettucine.

One year in the dead of winter, the ex and I headed out into the woods with his cousin Lionel. We hiked to this neat place out in the middle of the nowhere. We made a fire. We drank beer. And Lionel cooked tuna helper fettucine over an open fire. Only instead of tuna he used ground beef. He sliced an onion first and sauteed it in butter. Then he added the ground beef. Then the mix and the noodles. At the very end, he dumped in a can of peas. OMG

I cannot tell you how good this is. Especially over an open fire. It is truly the one thing I gleefully took with me.

Luckily Todd likes it. We cook it each time we camp.mmmm. I'm so full. Gonna chill and then hit the hay. Its wonderfully chilly out right now. Looking forward to snuggling into my sleeping bag. Tomorrow we explore along the river, with a bike ride and a hike. Hopefully the rain won't be too bad.

Gearing up for number Two!

2007-11-11T22:45:00.000-05:00

Well, I guess that I am going to back this site up, and print it all out to put aside for Maya one day. I think my plan will be to bind it and give it to her when she is pregnant with her first child, when she is 37. LOL

My pregnancy with her was really a breeze. I can only imagine what the next one will be like. We made the decision tonight, to start trying in April. Weee!!

I will post again at that time.

Done

2007-03-08T15:58:00.000-05:00

I am done posting here. I am in the middle of a redesign of my other site and I will post about Maya over there.

I am going to keep this place for when we decided (IF we decide!) to start trying for Baby #2.

So head on over to Just Another Jen. That is where all things Maya will be from now on!
Thanks!!

Six Months

2007-02-21T22:45:00.000-05:00

A half of a year. I wish you could see my face right now. *sigh*

I love this child. More so than I EVER thought was possible. She is an amazingly happy baby. My one wish for her is for her to always be this happy. And I know that really is not possible and that breaks me.

She had her 6 month well baby check-up the other day. She weighed in at 16 pounds 6.5 ounces and she is 26.5 inches long. She got her shots, and I opted to get her ears pierced. I am STILL reeling from the guilt of willingly bringing pain unto my child.
She only cried briefly. But still. Ugh.

I didn't get my ears done til I was 11. And it bloody well hurt. My thought process here was that she won't remember the pain, you know?

We are having issues with her spitting up, excessively. I discussed it with her Pediatrician who said that it is more of a laundry problem than a medical problem.
This kind of irritated me a bit. It does not seem to bother her in the least. But for two days now I have fed her babyfood with some water. No spit up. About 30 minutes later I give her a bottle and she becomes a damned fountain.

She is gaining weight accordingly, so I guess I should give it a bit more time. I dunno. It has gotten to the point though that bibs and spit-up cloths aren't adequate. I have to have a freaking receiving blanket on hand at all times. And wipes. Lots and lots of wipes.

Yeah. Gross.

But I love her anyway. :O)

She sat up all by herself today. She loves to stand and will stand at the coffee table for small bits of time. She looks like a little drunk after a few minutes, when she goes all wobbly. She gives kisses, tries to feed herself, is sort of drinking from a cup, still sleeping through the night, blows raspberries ALL THE DAMNED TIME!, naps like a champ, loves to play with her toys, and leans for me when Daddy holds her. Today, as I was holding her, she leaned over and reached for her Daddy. He had a bad day, so his face just lit up and I swear I heard his heart burst. It really made his day! We take her for hour long walks, and she does not make a peep. She just looks around at everything whilst blowing raspberries. Then we come home, she eats, gets a bath and zonkers out!!

I really need to start baby proofing this place, because it will be no time at all until this becomes her domain!

Be still, my heart!

2007-02-06T06:36:00.000-05:00

In the 'Aaaaaw' category; T just went to give Maya a kiss goodbye before leaving for work this morning. She was asleep, so he kissed his fingers and touched them to her face. She sighed, and smiled.

My heart go BOOM....

Pictures as promised...

2007-02-02T23:49:00.000-05:00

I cannot believe that she will be 6 months old this month. Someone make it stop! Guh. Going WAY too fast here for my liking. Yet, on the other hand, she is SO much fun. I HAVE to get up a video of her laughing. I swear it could bring about world peace.

Ok, so maybe not, but it IS that cute!

Without further blather, some pics taken yesterday...

In her beloved jumperoo

She always gets this look when the music and lights start!

Ok, had enough now please!

This was an oopsie, but I like it anyway.

She has tried some new foods lately and has loved every one of them. So far we have had plums, prunes, peaches, pears, and avocado; in addition to the sweet taters, peas, carrots, green beans, bananas, and apples that we started her out with.

We have decided to try to go vegan, in which case Maya will as well. We are slowly working to weed out all processed foods, because that shit is crap. It ain't easy! lol

Any of you vegans have any advice or recipes or anything??

More pics soon. It takes me awhile to process them since I have switched to shooting in RAW format. Need me some dual processor goodness (psshawright).

Sleeper

2007-01-26T18:11:00.000-05:00

For two days she has done nothing but sleep. I hope she is ok. She seems to be. I get her up and feed her, and within the hour she is back asleep for like 3 to 5 hours. Then I get her up, change her, feed her and within the hour she is back out again.

She is 5 and a half months old this week, is this typical? She hasn't slept this much since she was a newborn.

So, I get Bad Mommy of the Year Award. Today I put her in her bouncy seat and checked my email real quick. Not even TWO minutes... I didn't strap her in. When I went back out there she was on the floor!! OMG I about died. She didn't fall or anything, just sorta slinked out of it onto the floor. She never made a sound. LOL

I was MORTIFIED. I always strap her in, not sure why I didn't this time. UGH. Bad bad mommy. She was just laying there, eating her hand and smiling up at me. *sigh*

She is quickly outgrowing her clothes. For anything that is one piece, I have her in 6 to 9 months and they are getting too small. She is so long. I am thinking about getting some of those extender thingies for all of her onesies, because this is just rediculous. !!!

Picture post coming this weekend... Hope everyone is well!!

Crap!

2007-01-18T07:38:00.001-05:00

I just noticed that all my links are gone. Whoops. Will put them all back up later!!

:OP

New look!

2007-01-16T23:48:00.000-05:00

And for the life of me I cannot get it to look right in IE. Imagine that? And I don't have time to mess with it any more so... pffft. Get Firefox or something is all I can say! :OP

Maya is growing like a weed. She is such a happy baby. It is SO easy to make her laugh. And when she really gets going, I just want to bust. She is still hating tummy time. Grr. If you put her on her tummy, she will 'swim'. She wants to go in the worst way, yet she won't stay up on her arms for very long. She goes all flat and starts to cry. Her frusteration frusterates me. But I remain positive and I cheer her on, even if I really want to tape sticks to her arms to keep her UP. LOL (and NO, I would never actually do that....)

She is eating lotsa good stuffs like peas and sweet taters and peaches. So far, carrots have given her a bit of an issue, so we will hold off on giving her any more of that for a bit. They went RIGHT through her, and she was cranky as hell until they were out of her system. They gave Mommy a scare too. I went to change her diaper. It was twilight and I did not put a light on. When I undid her diaper, it looked like blood to me and I nearly died right there. I flicked on the light, and saw that it was just completely undigested carrot. yummy.

Today she was a bit of a crank too. There was just no pleasing her. She has been gnawing on her hands like a mad woman and she has been sleeping a LOT. I am wondering if Mister Toofers #1 may be trying to break on through?

EEEEE! My baby, with TEETH! Eek. She also has a nasty case of cradle cap (cradle crap lol). Heather gave me some stuff she said worked good on her boys, so I gave it a go and WOW. It loosened all that shit up in a jiffy! It is almost ALL gone. Thanks, H!

She is 5 months old today. I was sitting in the living room earlier, looking at a picture of her and I that was taken on the night that she was born. I sort of relived the whole thing in my head. It still seems so surreal. I got all misty-eyed.

Ok, I cried like a baby. *sigh* I have been in to look at her sleeping at least 4739437 times tonight. She's getting so big. She sleeps on her side, switching sides periodically throughout the night. Just like her Mommy. T mentioned tonight how he thought it was so cute that she changes sides to be comfortable. And how cute she is now that she is not just a 'blob' (for lack of a better term!) anymore, and that she makes choices like that.

So far the only thing I regret doing is feeding her in my recliner. Throughout the day, if I want to sit and snuggle with her, I have to do it on the loveseat, or else she is lookin' for a bottle!! LOL

She loves to play with her toys, and eagerly grabs things from me when I offer them to her. She definitely wants to be upright. She doesn't want to miss anything, you know. :O)

And now, some photos. So now you all can quit naggin' me for a bit! :P

What??

Watching tv

Playin'!

On Gramma's lap

Yeeesss??

weeee!

2006-12-30T16:47:00.000-05:00

Our first Christmas with Maya was just great. Of course everyone spoiled her. She got good stuffs though. She got lots of neat books, and some really great developmental toys, that she just LOVES.

I have lots of pictures, but I cannot get them off of my camera. Argh. I have to get a card reader and then I will post some. She got totally overwhelmed on Christmas Eve. Trying to get her to go to sleep that night was NOT fun.

Today was a big day for her as well. She has been trying different foods, and so far she likes them all. We have tried Oatmeal cereal, sweet peas, bananas, and sweet potatoes. She chowed on the sweet taters just a bit ago. What a mess. I had to give her a bath after that! She loooved them.

Afterwards, I had her on the floor for some tummy time (which she still hates!), she is doing a wee bit better with that. She went flat after about 8 minutes or so, and she started to fuss. I rolled her over onto her back as I was putting some of her toys away. She rolled right to her side, and rolled over onto her tummy! I was like..WHOAH!! hahaaa!!

I rolled her back over, and woop, there she went, right back on her tummy. Which then made her mad because *newsflash* she does not like to be on her tummy!

:o)

So, yeah, exciting day for us over here. I cannot wait to see what she does next. She is SO much fun!

Parenting 101

2006-12-18T23:38:00.000-05:00

Ok. So Heather gave us a jumperoo. It was in the garage, and I asked my husband to get it so we could put it together for Maya. I went to change her and put her into her pjs, while Daddy put it together. He asked about the seat, and I said to just hook it into the spaces in the jumperoo, where the seat should go. Not rocket science, right?

Well. My husband is one of those people that is very smart, sometimes so much so that the obvious often escapes him. So, I come out with Maya, and lean over and put her into the jumperoo, and she disappears. "Uum...Sparky? Somethings not right here??!!" He says to me "What is the problem?" (and yeah. My nickname for him is Sparky. Has been for YEARS...hee. It fits him..)

By this time I was laughing hysterically, and running for my camera. The look on Maya's face was pricless. She looked like she was saying "What in the HELL people??"

Todd had fastened the seat to the plastic part of the jumperoo, from underneath, instead of from the top, so when I put her in it, she promptly sank to the floor.

And finally, we get it right.

:O)

Check up!

2006-12-18T18:07:00.000-05:00

Well, she weighed in at 13 pounds 14 ounces and is 25 inches long. She is in the 50th percentile for weight and the 90th percentile for height!

She can also start eating foodstuffs. Yay! We are going to start with some oatmeal cereal, as there is rice already in her formula (it comes that way...).

She handled her shots well, and is just now waking up from a 3 hour snooze, so I am off for now!!

Four months old...where does the time go?

2006-12-18T12:20:00.000-05:00

I still cannot believe that I have a kid. How weird is that? It is still all so unreal to me. I look at her and think "Wow. She is mine. WE created this person." Oy.

:O)

She is positively smooshable, and I love her more than anything. Today she goes for her four month check up. I cannot wait to see what the porker weighs. Hahaa. She is really still quite small, I think. She still hates tummy time, which is starting to worry me. I can only put her on her tummy for a moment or two before she starts to wail like someone is pulling off her toenails or something. She will lift up for a moment, then she just goes flat and screams. Ugh.

She watches us eat. Like the dog does. It is funny as hell. She watches the fork from plate to mouth and looks at me like 'WOW'. I really didn't want to start her on any food until she was about 6 months or so. The formula we have her on has rice in it. It is thick. She sucks down 7 to 8 ounces in less than 5 minutes most of the time. I have to keep pulling the bottle away from her because she doesn't breathe, and she ends up choking. Duh.

She also sticks her whole hand in her mouth, so far in that it makes her gag. Again, DUH! hahaa. My Mom told me I used to do the same thing and her my Dad used to laugh their asses off at me. Hmph. LOL

She is still such a pleasant baby. The only times she fusses is when she is hungry, when she is tired, or when she is bored. Other than that, she is all smiles. She LOVES her jumperoo. Oh. Remind me to tell you the jumperoo story later. It is a good one. !!!

Question

2006-12-07T23:44:00.000-05:00

I am curious as to what other names you had picked for your baby, and if the baby had been the other sex, what names did you settle on?

My sister in law is 15 weeks pregnant. She got pregnant the week Maya was born. Hee.
I am stoked...
I cannot wait for them to find out what it is! eeeee!

Anyway, other girl names we had tossed around were: Anna, Amanda, Molly, Noelle, and I liked Katelyn, but T did not.

If Maya had been a boy, we were tossing about the idea of naming him after my Dad and Mark, so either Phillip Mark, or Mark Phillip. Other names we liked were: Will, Derek, Bret (not a word, Stace. LOL), I liked Justin, T did not.. and Evan.

Many of you that I read have great names for your kids, I am interested to see what didn't pan out!

A Day of Infamy...

2006-12-07T11:41:00.000-05:00

One year ago today, my life took a big BIG turn...

:O)

By far, the best thing that has ever happened to me, aside from meeting her Daddy, of course!

Of course, today is important in a much larger way, from a worldly standpoint anyway...
as it is the 65th Anniversary of Pearl Harbor. I think it is very important on this day, to remember those killed on that day, and every day, while defending our freedoms and our country.

2006-12-05T14:50:00.000-05:00

It is funny how all of the things that I worried about while pregnant, were completely rediculous.

I wondered how I would ever get by on no sleep. I am not good when I don't get enough sleep. I mean, no one is really. But lack of sleep triggers migraines for me, so this was a huge concern.

My daughter sleeps 8 to 10 hours a night. Woo! I am sure that will change at some point, but for now, she's a champion sleeper. I worried how I would do at keeping her entertained. I have spent a lot of time around babies in the past, but there is still so much that I don't know. Everyone kept telling me not to worry, that instinct would kick in. That it has.

I worried how I would keep up with the house. I manage. :O)

I am thoroughly enjoying being a Mom. I love this little being more and more every day. She is such a joy. She has found her voice, so she can get quite loud at times lol. She is also fascinated by her feet at the moment. Her hands are usually in her mouth, and when she wakes up I swear she is the happiest soul on the planet.

Ahh I love her...and now, some photos I snapped today. My Mom got her that outfit the other day..soo cute!

Three Months!!

2006-11-20T14:58:00.000-05:00

I cannot believe that she is 3 months old already. The time really does fly.
And, I really cannot remember life without her.

She is very vocal, with all of the cooing and gurgling and bubble blowing that she does. I got a real honest to goodness laugh out of her yesterday. I promptly melted into my recliner. *sigh*

She is doing great on her tummy. She won't tolerate it for long, but holds herself high before she starts to grump. We have had to switch her formula a few times. We had her on Enfamil, and it was too heavy. She was spitting up like mad. Doc said to put her on Carnation Good Start. We did, but again with the excessive spit-up. So I put her on Enfamil A.R and she is doing wonderfully. She keeps it all down, and the pooper is working effectively. I have to give her prune juice about once or twice a week though to keep all that in working order.

We spent the weekend on a camping trip with Todds work. We left the baby with my Mom. I honestly never worried, not even once. I did miss her like crazy though. So did her Daddy. We had a GREAT time camping though and will hopefully be doing it again in the spring. Todd works for a GREAT company, they really treat their employees well. We had SO much fun. :O)

Here is a pic I snapped the other day, I call this one "Missed it by thatmuch!" Hah.

I don't even pay that for ME.

2006-11-06T10:57:00.000-05:00

I don't get it. I don't care how much money you make, how can you justify spending $65 on a pair of jeans for baby?? A pair of jeans they MAY wear a FEW times at best??

I am not paying $65 so my kid can have a Ralph Lauren advertisement on her. That is just crazy. No offense if any of you shop there for baby. I just can't see doing it.

I saw this polo shirt that I want to get for Maya, she would look SO cute in it. But damn, not for the price they want for it. Gah.

Anyway. Anyone remember those shirts with the little alligator embroidered on the breast? Who made that? Do they still make them?

I want an alligator shirt.... heh.

Maya is doing great. There are a ton of people that check this site, my Moms been giving out the URL like crazy. So, Hi everyone! I promise to get some photos up this week. She is growing like mad!

First round down...

2006-10-31T22:48:00.000-05:00

Today was Maya's two month wellness visit, even though she is two and a half months.. they scheduled us a little late for some reason. Anyway, she weighed in at 11.5 pounds and 22 inches, right in the 50th percentile. Doc says she's got excellent head/neck strength/control, she is plumping nicely, and is cute as can be. Duh! lol

She was all smiles until the shots. Now. I knew they would make her cry, but DAMN. She screamed like someone was hacking off a limb. I cried. *sigh*

I plopped her bottle in her mouth as soon as they were done and she all but forgot about it. She is a bit cranky this evening, but so far has avoided spiking a fever.

I wanted to kill the lady who gave her the shots. Poor woman. How do you stick babies like that??? I mean, I KNOW its all for the greater good and all that, but I so could not do that!! What a job! She was an incredibly nice lady, she talked to Maya the whole time and kept apologizing..

Doc says I have to start giving her prune juice to help with some issues, but other than that she's perfect.

Wee.

And with that, I am off to snuggle my little girl while she (hopefully) falls asleep!

I am so in love....

2006-10-25T21:21:00.000-05:00

I love her I love her I love her. *sigh*
She is just so unbelievably snuggly.

I was just thinking, even though I REALLY do not want to rush things, I cannot wait until she is old enough to play with Play Doh! Weeee! LOL

I look forward to all that stuff!

We have a Docs appointment on the 31st. She has been spitting up a LOT the last two weeks. It seems to get worse every day. And she's been having trouble pooping. Poor kid. No one should have to strain like that. So I suppose her formula will change. Of course. Because I have a HUGE unopened can of it in the cabinet. When we bought it, Todd said to me "Let's just buy one." But nooooo, I had to 'stock up'. Pffft.

Again, I am a bad Momma. She has this face she makes when, after all of that struggling, she is actually pooping, that puts me in hysterics. I will have to get a picture of it. My Mom finally got to witness it last weekend, and the two of us sat there cracking up. Poor kid. Time to start lining up the therapists.....

She is so much more alert now. I am loving it. She smiles SO much, and coos and makes all kinds of squeaky noises. I cannot wait until she just breaks out into a laugh, she is sooo close.

Every time she smiles, whether at me or the wall (lol) I just about melt into the floor. *sigh*

Pictures forthcoming this weekend.

My lil' Punkin'

2006-10-21T23:05:00.000-05:00

We took a trip to a local pumpkin patch today. Would have gone a lot better and been able to take a lot more pics had it not been 91 frikkin' degrees out there today, in the shade no less! Oy man it was hot.

So we did the best we could! These photos were taken by my friend Robyn. Many thanks to her for inviting us. Cannot wait to see what next week brings!

I also took some pictures with my camera, and will hopefully have a good one or two to post later tomorrow. For now, the gems Robyn took...

Chillin'..eh...sweatin' is more like it! I felt bad putting a hat on her..and my Mom knitted those booties just for this occasion, so on they went! Thanks for the booties Mom..LOVE them!!

She was aaaall done by this point (this was like...10 minutes after we got there!!)

And this one that Robyn titled "Homeslice". She was grabbing her crotch, and she looks as if she is about to flip the bird...

:O)

My Sweet Pea

2006-10-18T17:09:00.000-05:00

Just because she is SO freakin' cute...

That was taken just a bit ago, and this next one was taken the other day on our walk..shes in shadow and all that but I just LOVE this shot of her!

I love her... hee.

The Many Faces of Maya : Part 2

2006-10-17T12:23:00.000-05:00

I have been waiting a looong time to put her into this outfit. So of course I needed to take pictures...

By this pic, she was getting bored with it all...

Ok lady, enough with the camera already!

Heh.

Bad Momma

2006-10-16T15:19:00.000-05:00

We had some errands to run today. Then we went for a nice long walk. It is a beautiful day here, absolutely beautiful. So..when we got home, Maya decided that she was hungry and she was hungry NOW. A full hour before she would normally eat. I had a bottle in the fridge, so I just fed her that. Never given her cold formula before. She did not seem to mind at all. But then, as I was changing her diaper, I noticed that she was shivering. You know, like one of those really deep internal shivers? OMG.

I felt SO bad. She was smiling and cooing at me anyway, but Dear God! I felt SO SO bad. Ugh.

Please tell me it bothered me more than it did her...

*sigh*

More Maya!

2006-10-03T12:21:00.000-05:00

The Many Faces of Maya

2006-10-02T18:26:00.000-05:00

And yes, them be poop faces... !!

eek!

2006-09-30T02:18:00.000-05:00

That previous post was NOT a complaint! Not at all lol. I know I got lucky with this baby. I am sure I will pay dearly when she gets older.

I just feel like I should be doing something with her, like her brain is going to go all mushy cause I let her sleep all the time. I know, dumb. I can't help it! LOL

I know that when she is mobile, I will WISH that I could clean my house! :O)

Ugh

2006-09-29T15:35:00.000-05:00

For the last few days, Maya has done nothing but sleep. She wakes to eat and get changed, and promptly goes back to sleep. I can do nothing to keep her awake! I feel like a bad momma. I know she's just doing what most babies her age do. But I feel like I should be doing something, anything, with her, besides leaving her to sleep the day away.

My house is damned near spotless though. All I have left to do is mop the floors and this place is museum-like. Even my office got the royal treatment today. Woo. It is SO nice in here!!

Todd went all Cinderella on me last night and scrubbed the kitchen and bathroom floors on his hands and knees. So my bathrooms and my kitchen are all sparkly! There is not one stitch of laundry that needs to be done either. It is ALL done. AND put away! The dog even got a bath!

So, there IS an upside to her sleeping all day. The downside is that I miss her. I want to play with her. I want to read to her. I want to smell her head. LOL

However, when I wake her, she is NOT happy at ALL, so I just let her sleep....

*sigh*

wee Maya... 2 days old...

2006-09-25T16:38:00.000-05:00

Her hospital photos...
We almost did not get them. I am SO glad that we did.

:O)

sleeper

2006-09-22T19:11:00.000-05:00

She has been sleeping ALL day. I put her down last night at 11 p.m. She did not wake up until 8 this morning. After a diaper change and feeding, she went back to sleep (around 930ish) and slept until 1 p.m. Another feeding and she was back to sleep until 4:30. Fed, back to sleep. Still sleeping.

I have a feeling it is going to be a looooong night. *sigh*
I cannot see myself as having the kind of luck that would have my kid sleep all night again, and then be normal again tomorrow... Nope. Don't see that happening.

Crap.

Month One - A Recap

2006-09-15T19:14:00.000-05:00

Maya is 4 weeks old already. She is changing a little bit every day. While it makes me happy to know that she is thriving and doing well, it saddens me also... *sigh*

She has a nickname, of course, just like everyone else in this house. I call her Sweet Pea. My Mom calls her Princess.

She is now known as 'Princess Sweet Pea'. :O)

Oh, and 'chicken legs'. *snort* But that is just her Momma's lil pet name for her...

I am taking a huge risk here, telling the whole internet what a good baby she is...but, well, she is. She's only a crankypants when she is hungry, or when she's got a loaded diaper. And now that I have put that out there, she will become a spitfire, you watch. LOL

She is eating between 4 and 5 ounces every 3.5 to 5 hours. She sleeps a lot, just not all at once, like most babies. We had a 3 night stretch where she slept from 11 p.m. until 7 a.m. That was glorious, but I knew not to get used to it. She sleeps about 5 hours at night, and again for 2 or 3 hours after her 6 a.m. feeding. I cannot complain about this AT.ALL. Momma naps when she does, sometimes, and the rest of my time is spent with the kitties, cleaning, doing laundry, or just watching Maya sleep.

She is the most beautiful creature I have ever seen. Everyone always says that there is no love like that of a parents love for a child. Everyone told me "Just you wait..."

Holy crap. I was not prepared at ALL for how much I love this little girl. She is my every breath. And seeing Todd with her makes me cry. He is so in love with her. He is so gentle with her and he sings to her all the time (much to Momma's dismay *giggles* ). He was so afraid prior to her birth. Afraid of changing diapers and afraid of handling her. You would never know by watching him that he has never been around a baby before. He looks like an old pro! He wears his spotty, spit upon shoulder spots as a badge, my friends. It is extremely cute, although unpleasant when I hug him, because those spots are right at my nose-level. Yummy.

Everyone has been after me to post some photos, so here goes. I am flat broke right now or I would pay for a pro Flickr account so I could categorize and get more up, but I just cannot right now so this will have to do...

Behold, the chicken legs...

Maya and her Daddy

She has outgrown her first outfit...this is a preemie outfit I had to buy after she was born because everything else was so huge on her. She got to wear it 3 times,a nd this third time, as you can see, she cannot straighten out her legs. LOL

Her first 'tattoo'. Actually, that is a beaded thingy from my Mom's shirt that stuck to her cheek!

Because everyone loves babeh feets...

Sleeper

Her reaction to the Bucs being shut out in their first regular season game ...

Maya and my Mom

My pretty girl..

Aaand tummy time, which she loathes after about 3.6 seconds..

:o)

What the ??

2006-09-05T16:54:00.000-05:00

I don't get it.

When I took Maya to her Docs appointment the other day, I had 3 different encounters where I wanted to smack the other person right in the nose. I had Maya dressed all in pink. Pink onesie, pink socks, pink bib, pink blanket, all snuggled into her pink carseat. And STILL people asked if she was a boy or a girl.

HELLO??

Who puts their boy all in pink? Am I missing something here or are people REALLY that stupid?

yawns

2006-09-02T22:12:00.000-05:00

Pics coming soon I promise. Kinda busy over here LOL.
She has gained almost a whole pound! My little piggy.

She weighed in at 7 pounds 2 ounces at her two week check-up. She was 6 pounds 5 ounces at her visit a few days after coming home. I think she was 5 days old then..

Doc says shes perfect! Duh. :O)

The breastfeeding thing did not pan out, unfortunately. I spent a whole day crying about it. But you know, I can only do what I can do. I was not making enough. I bought a pump, and was only getting about a quarter ounce between both breasteses at any given time. The Doc says that the most likely reason is that my hormones are back to their pre-pregnancy hijinx. My thyroid was all stupid before, and if that is what has happened again, that could affect milk production. I could go on meds to fix it, and I will...but I cannot feed while on the meds. So..I did the best I could. She is growing and getting fat and stuffs so I had to just get over it.

Now if I could just get her to stop sucking on my shirt every time I hold her.

:O)

Yay!

2006-08-29T23:36:00.000-05:00

Guess who gets a REAL bath tomorrow?
Her umbilical stump just fell off, leaving her with the cutest belly button ever.

*sigh*

Birth Story Part 2

2006-08-29T18:45:00.000-05:00

So, off to recovery I go. I was feeling really pukey at this point, so once they got me settled, they gave me something for it. Why don't they make that stuff available to us when we are pregnant and walking around looking green???

I fell asleep for awhile, and when I came to, Todd was standing there. He told me Maya was beautiful and perfect and that he loved me. He asked me how I was doing, and told me that everyone was getting nervous because I had been in recovery for awhile now (2 hours at that point). For some reason they didn't have a room for me. I was down there for 3 hours. I started getting pissed off at this point. So the nurse that was tending to me got on the phone, got pretty stern with someone, and had me outta there in about 20 minutes. When they wheeled me to the room, everyone was standing outside waiting for me, including my brother and my sister-in-law. That was nice, as I was not expecting them.

After getting me settled, we called the nursery for them to bring Maya to us, and THAT took WAY too long. Todd started humming to the nurses and they got her to us after that.

I unswaddled her so I could see her, all of her. She is so precious and perfect in every way. Even her little chicken legs. LOL

The next few days were rough, as if I did not ask for pain meds, they did not bring them to me. So we made it a point to make sure I had meds every 4 hours and I was ok. The gas was unbelievable. It hurt. A lot. It made it so that I could not move at all at times. Ugh. The food stunk, but only because they didn't send me half of the stuff I ordered half the time. The actual quality of the food was really not bad at all.

Anyway, that is really all there is to tell. We have been home for awhile now. Maya is two weeks old today. Her little cheeks are getting plump. She is more alert. And I love her more and more each day.

I sleep when she sleeps. The housework can wait! I value my sanity more than clean floors. Besides, Todds been taking care of all of that for me. He is amazing, and seeing him with her makes me melt.

Seeing my Mom with her has the same effect as well. *sigh*
She is bringing such joy to my family, and that is so wonderful to witness.

And with that, I am off.

Finally (part 1)

2006-08-28T22:52:00.000-05:00

The birth story...

Wednesday morning when the alarm went off (at 4freakingo'clock), I awoke to a wicked dry mouth. Of course. Because I cannot have anything to drink! I was even told not to swallow any water when brushing my teeth. Ugh. I cheated and sucked on a small ice cube that I plucked from the bunch while filling a cooler with...water!

My Mom had spent the night, and followed us to the hospital. I drove. I was getting too nervous to be the passenger. I have never had any kind of surgery before. I was fine with it all until Wednesday morning. Then the thoughts of someone cutting me open, while I am awake started to leave me feeling a wee bit unsettled, to say the least.

When we got to the hospital, Heather was there waiting for us, snapping pictures as we walked in. I checked in at the front desk and was immediately taken back to pre-op. I didn't even get to say anything to Todd who was busy digging out the video camera. I knew I would see him in a bit, so I didn't panic...

Once back there, I had to change into a gown, pee, get an IV, get hooked up to all the stuff that they hook you up to when having surgery. I met the anesthesiologist (from this point forward known as the spinal guy...that is much easier to type out!), who asked me if I had any questions. I did not. Then they brought my family back. So there we are, me in bed with my ass hanging out the back of a hospital gown, Heather who graciously covered said ass, my Mom, Todd and eventually his parents. When one of the O/R nurses came in, she was surprised to find so many people! Doc M came by and asked if we were ready to have a baby. You could feel the electricity in that little curtained area rise considerably! Every one was so excited. I was too, but suddenly felt as if I was going to hurl...

I got lots of hugs and kisses and good lucks, and was on my way. As they wheeled me down the hall, I couldn't help but to cry, as thoughts of my Dad started creeping in.

As they wheeled me around the corner, I felt the temperature drop considerably. What is up with that?? It was freaking cold... Anyway, we get in there, I get off the bed and onto the operating table. A nurse comes over to me and braces me, telling me how I need to be still blah blah. Spinal guy comes over and I tell him to just do what he's gotta do, I don't need a play by play.

I got the play by play anyway. Ugh. So he numbs the area and starts to do his thing. Only he cannot get it where it needs to go. I feel pain shooting down to my butt and it made me jerk a little. It was totally involuntary. He asks what is wrong and so I told him, he gave me more numbing stuffs and then I heard him ask for a smaller needle. About 20 seconds later he told me that I should start to feel it right away.

What an odd feeling. I immediately got warm. Again this brought about thoughts of my Dad. I remember when he used to have his tests done on his heart, and they would shoot die into his heart, his heart would pump once and he would get all warm. The first time the did this to him, he thought he wet himself lol. And I thought the same thing. I said "Ut oh, I think I just peed!" LOL

The nurse assured me that I did not, and they swung my legs up on the table and I laid down. The pins and needles portion of this whole thing SUCKED. I HATE pins and needles. Thankfully it did not last long at all.

Now, I really do not like any part of me being numb. So what did I do? I tried to move my leg. And it freaked me the hell out! Spinal guy was now talking to me, telling me that I needed to relax. The nurse, who had braced me during the spinal, says to me "We had to give you something to up your blood pressure..." Spinal says "And now its going too high.."

Well, it was going too high because I could feel the numbness moving up into my chest, arms and hands and I was starting to panic. I felt as if I couldn't breathe. Again with the thoughts of my Dad. I could not help but wonder if that is what is was like for him, not being able to breathe. Ugh. What an AWFUL feeling.

Spinal came over and put his fingers in my hand and asked me to squeeze, which I did, despite the friggin' pins and needles. He then told me that I REALLY needed to relax, and that even though it FELT like I could not breathe, they were monitoring me and I was breathing just fine.

At that point, I got really calm. Instantly. He looked at me and asked if I was ok. I said "Yeah, why?" He just said mumbled something about my bp dropping to normal really fast and walked away, sort of shrugging his shoulders.

This may sound crazy, but THAT was my Dad... The only other time in my whole life that I have felt that, was the day he died. When we got back from Jax, from Marks funeral, to the Hospice where they had taken my Dad that day..and I walked in the room where they had him in a bed, I lost my shit. I seriously thought my heart was going to die right there in that room. I threw myself across him as I cried. I tried real hard to get ahold of myself, and when I pulled away from him, and looked around the room at my family, I sat down. And that same feeling enveloped me.

*sigh*

I digress...

So, now they bring Todd in. His eyes looked big as saucers to me. He asked me if I was ok, and I said 'Yes, I am fine." He squeezed my hand (argh pins and neeeeedles) and I asked him to please not do that again! I explained why..and we talked like there was not people cutting me open.

When it was time for them to take her out of me, the nurse asked Todd if he would like to see his baby be born, and he jumped up so fast that it scared me! I was really surprised, as he is sorta squeamish. He watched them take her out, and he gasped "OMG! She's beautiful!!!" He reached down and squeezed me hand again, but this time I didn't care. My gaze was fixed on the nurse who was holding up my screaming daughter for me to see. My eyes filled with tears, I squeezed Todds hand, and then I asked if there was anyone else in there being operated on. I got a lot of odd looks, then I stated how she was a LOT smaller than I had thought she would be. I said "THAT is what has been kicking the crap out of me for the last 2 months??" That got some laughs, and Doc M peered over the drape and says to me "Yuh, she is a lot smaller than I thought too!!"

So, the nurses were cleaning her off and doing all that stuff they do to newborns, then they swaddled her and brought her to us. They put her in my arms, and I lost it. I could barely see her through the tears. They let Todd and I spend almost 10 minutes with her before they all left for the nursery. At this point I am almost sure they hit me with the morphine because I started to feel REALLY high. One of the nurses saw my fighting to keep my eyes open, and she told me to go ahead and take a nap. So I did. Although I could hear everything that was going on around me. It was odd.

Doc M was calling my name, and I struggled to open my eyes. He congratulated me, told me that I was good to go to recovery and wished me the best. So off to recovery....and the rest will have to wait because Maya is finally asleep and I need to go to bed now!!

No More

2006-08-24T20:25:00.000-05:00

I do not want any more comments on the previous post please, that goes for all of you, my friends included. I appreciate you all coming to my defense, but this is Mayas blog and I should have just emailed Amy, like I would have wanted her to do.

I was just pissed that she commented over here instead of registering over at JAJ, and leaving her comments there. This is not the place for any of this. I do not want to have to shut off the comments, but I will. I do not post here for validation, I post here to keep friends and family up to speed on things, as I can.

Thanks...
-the management

Yowza!

2006-08-24T12:35:00.000-05:00

Ok, since she called me on it in my comments.. here goes. The rest of you can disregard this post.

First of all Amy, yes, I assumed it was you hitting my site, because I knew you read both here and at Tiki. I also assumed that Dave hit the site occasionally as well, looking for the dirt. However, there will be no dirt, as unlike you two, we have moved on.

You act as if what I was going to post was about you (Dave), I wonder why that is so? Why are you both so interested in what I was going to post? Hmmm? Pfft.

Let me ask you this? How would either one of you feel if the other suddenly wanted to die? How would you feel, looking into the eyes of the other, and seeing NOTHING looking back at you? Nothing but an empty shell of the person you love? How would you feel, sitting there helplessly as the other crumbled, personally, emotionally, professionally?

I am not sure what you two believe, or know to be true. I am not sure either of you care. But until you have lived with someone who is bipolar, you should NOT come to your own conclusions. You, being the good christian folk that you are, I (we) figured there would be some understanding there, at least from Dave.

So, with that, go away then. There will be no post to make your head spin. So sorry to disappoint you both.

And no more comments regarding the issue either please. If you have something else to say, you have my phone number, and you have my email address. This blog is about Maya.

More coming soon!

2006-08-21T02:21:00.000-05:00

First, I want to thank you all for the wonderful comments and emails and such!!
I will post her birth story and all that soon...for now though, a photo or two!

Sleeping Beauty, taken by Daddy

At the hospital, snuggling with Mom

Hangin' with Gramma! Big yawn!! Either that or she's all "ENOUGH with the camera already people..."

Maya Noel is here!!!

2006-08-16T12:38:00.000-05:00

Hey all its Heather..

Sorry for the delay here is the pretty girl..
August 16, 2006
8:16am
6 lbs 6.5 oz
20 inches long

Welcome to the world pretty girl you look just like your daddy..

Eek.

2006-08-14T16:29:00.000-05:00

Surgery has been scheduled for Wednesday at 7 a.m.
August 16th will be Maya's birthday....

Holy. SHIT.

If you blog it, they will call...

2006-08-14T15:24:00.000-05:00

I had another Doc appointment today. They hooked me up to the monitors for 20 minutes. Her heartbeat is good and strong, she was moving all over the place too...making all kinds of noise. :O)

When Dr. M checked me, he sort of grimaced, and shook his head no. Ugh. I was so disappointed. "Nothing happening, still closed tight."

He told me that we could wait and see if I go on my own. He told me we could try an induction, and he told me we could just schedule a section. Those are my three options. However, after a discussion with two other Docs that have seen me recently, they all agree that the chances of this kid fitting through my pelvis are slim to none. He mentioned something about some part of the pelvis (? i totally don't remember!) being in the way and that the baby cannot move down further. An induction would be a waste of time and energy. He says "I cannot TELL you what to do here. I CAN recommend, for the health and safety of you AND the baby, to schedule the section. WE could TRY a vaginal birth, but I really do not think that will happen..."

So I am waiting on a call back from the Docs about the date that our daughter will be born. We were aiming for this Wednesday, Thursday or Friday.

*screams*

NOW I am freaking out. Heh. I have been cool as can be this whole time. Now though I feel, WOW. Like I am gonna throw up.

LOL

I need to go clean her room. Again. If they don't call within the next 15 minutes I am going to be really pissed. Don't leave me sitting here like that, you know?? Ugh

I will post more when I know more.....

This is a TOTAL TMI post

2006-08-13T16:17:00.000-05:00

So I thought I was going to be one of the lucky ones. HAH!
*drinks metamucil*

I have pretty much skated through this pregnancy. Yeah I have had some swelling, and the ligament pain a few months back threw me for a loop. Oh and the headaches. Good LORD the headaches. I had a small bout with constipation early on too. Thankfully all of that subsided. Aside from being tired, REALLY tired, it has been a lot better than I ever anticipated.

Until just now.

I was sweating. Profusely. Crying. Praying to Jesus. No joke. Afterwards I sat in the shower and my whole body shook. I cried some more.

And all I can think right now is this; if I cannot push out THAT, how am I gonna push out a 7 pound HUMAN BEING???

I need a nap....

cries

2006-08-13T08:01:00.000-05:00

Nothing yet.

Obviously. LOL

Holy shit. Week 40!

2006-08-11T01:29:00.000-05:00

I can NOT believe that it is August 11th. Time has just flown by.
I want to smack that ticker up there right off the page. She has NOT arrived. Of course. If she had there would be photographic evidence and much celebration going on.

Keep a watch on this space though. Laptop goes with to the hospital! As does the camera! I guess I better show Todd how to use this thing so he can upload some photos when she comes.

We have even contemplated setting up the webcam. LOL. NOT. Contemplated yes, doing it? No.

I am so ready.

And you know, I have never done this before, so this odd sensation I am getting? Not sure what it is. Could be a contraction. Does not hurt. Feels like maybe shes just trying to stretch out. If I am sitting, I have to stand up. It is very uncomfy. My belly gets hard, but only one the side that shes on..usually the right.

It is very weird.

Heartburn woke me up out of a blissfull sleep. I had a migraine all damned day yesterday. Ugh. Glad that it is gone.

Oh and another thing. Everyone keeps talking about the overwhelming urge to clean? Not here. This place is a sty. You outta see my floors. *screams*
I am too damned tired to think about all the cleaning that needs to be done. Does that make me lazy and bad?? Cause I am feeling like I SHOULD be cleaning. I just honestly don't have it in me. At this point, taking a shower exhausts me. I don't even bother drying off anymore. I just stand in front of my fan and air dry. Seriously.

And most days I don't even shower til like 5...ugh.

Feh..

2006-08-08T15:06:00.000-05:00

Nothin' doin'...

Everything is ok, she is just not ready yet I guess. They estimated her weight to be around 6 pounds 10 ounces, based on measurements. Yeah, I got an ultrasound.. :O)
I also had a non-stress test because she has been unusually still the last two days. Everything checked out fine.

My next appointment is Monday morning at 9:30.

My feet look like sausages again, so I am carting my fat ass off to the recliner for a bit. I REALLY wish I had something else to report!!

Week 40 approaching...........

2006-08-07T11:49:00.000-05:00

Still pregnant. I have an appointment tomorrow...I am not sure what will happen. They will either set me up with an induction date, or make me wait til next week since my due date isn't until Friday.

*sigh*

I am pretty sure that the ol' cervix is still all Fort Knox-like. Only thing I am feeling is dog ass tired.

So I am off for another nap....

ggrrr

2006-08-04T06:43:00.000-05:00

I guess she is feeling ultra snuggly up in here cause there ain't nothin' doin' yet.
*sigh*

She is not moving around with reckless abandon anymore either. I still feel her move, just not nearly as much. Which helps with the whole sleeping thing. So I am able to get some good sleep time (sometimes) but that is interrupted with WEIRD ass dreams.

Bah. I am going back to bed...

For Maya

2006-08-02T07:21:00.000-05:00

I always saw myself getting married, owning a home, and having children. Then I got married. And deep down inside I knew it was all wrong. My outlook on having children changed drastically. There was even a point where I DID get pregnant (despite all efforts to AVOID that!), and when I miscarried, it did not phase me in the least. That made me feel like a very bad person. But even now, looking back on it all, I am still SO glad it worked out the way it did. Because that marriage WAS all wrong, and I cannot imagine myself being tied to that person and his awful family for the rest of my life. I cannot imagine what that whole situation would have done to a child. What a nightmare...ugh.

So then, I meet your Dad. He was in the same situation, with the whole bad marriage and all. He too, never wanted children. After being together for a few years, getting married and buying the house, things changed. I remember that morning like it was yesterday. We were sitting out on the patio as the sun was coming up. We were having a long discussion over our coffee about how good life was for us. We have each other, we have a good family support system, we have good friends. We were just taking an inventory of our lives, and realizing that something was missing.

That something was you.

Your Dad looked at me and said "Maybe we ought to consider starting a family..."
It was as simple as that. My heart smiled, and I knew at that very moment just how much I wanted you.

We started trying right away, as my Dad, your Poppy, was very sick. He and I were extremely close and it was very very important to me that you two know each other.
The powers-that-be had other plans though, as we did not conceive you until 5 months after he passed on.

I like to think that you had some time with him before you came to us. I have had dreams where I see him holding a baby, talking to it, loving it, and I assume it is you. They say you cannot dream in color, yet I clearly remember the baby he is holding is wrapped up in a fuzzy pink blanket.

And even though you come to us long after he has gone, your timing was still impeccable.

I was having a very difficult time in dealing with my Dad dying. I was drinking heavily, and really not facing reality very well. I was out of a job, and I was beginning to wonder if I had an actual drinking problem, as I could not seem to put the stuff down. I was drinking a LOT. As in getting hammered just about every night. It was the only time the pain in my heart was dulled. I KNEW that in the morning when I woke up, the pain and the reality of it all would still be there. Yet I continued to drink heavily.

The moment I assumed that I just MAY be pregnant, I put the bottle down and haven't looked back. And for that I thank you, because that was a bad road that I was on.
I am sure that I still put a lot of stress on you, because for a long time I cried myself to sleep at night, thinking about how your Poppy and your Uncle Mark would never get to do the things that they would have wanted to do with you. I would sob uncontrollably. I never knew I could cry like that.

The tears still come when I think about them, but I have a bit more control now over how upset I allow myself to get. Besides, I can see them both cringe when I lose my shit, so I try hard not to do that anymore.

I try to focus on all of the positives. Your Grammy and MeMaw already love you beyond words, as does your Papa. And as for your Daddy and I, well, you already leave us speechless and in awe. Our friends and extended family all anxiously await your arrival. They were very giving at the baby shower, and saw to it that we have everything we could possibly need for you. You will have a great start, with lots of love, lots of snuggling..lots of everything! We really cannot wait to meet you, Maya Noel. Our love for you surpasses anything we ever considered, or dreamt about.

Just do Mommy ONE leeeetle favor?? Please come before the start of the NFLs PreSeason, mmk? *winks*

Week 38

2006-08-01T12:19:00.000-05:00

No change from last week.

*cries*

Doc looks at my chart, looks at me and says "Good to see you are alive this week..."
I shoot her a look of utter confusion, and she says "Your blood pressure was 120/88, higher than your average 90/60..."

LOL

My BP has always been on the low side. She said no worries though because it is still within normal range, no protein in the ol' urine, and no change with my cervix.

ARGH.

Maya IS running out of room though. I have an appt. on the 8th, if there is no change at that point, then we schedule an induction.

Amen.

And with that I am off to nap. I am running on empty here....

holycrap

2006-08-01T00:07:00.000-05:00

It's August.

IT IS AUGUST PEOPLE.

This month I will become a MOM.

Holy Schnikes.

!!!!

crappitycrap

2006-07-29T15:55:00.000-05:00

I feel like poo today.
I cannot seem to sleep at night. Then, I cannot seem to stay awake during the day. Fun.

I woke up feeling ok, but a little while later I just started to feel...funny. I got really lightheaded, and my lips and the tip of my nose got tingly. It freaked me out so I went to lay down for a bit. That feeling went away, but I still don't feel right.

My heart was beating faster than it normally does too. But that seems to be ok now too.

I have ZERO energy right now. I just feel like a big giant sack of goo.

Ugh.

*yawns*

Rant !!!

2006-07-28T11:27:00.000-05:00

This is an article from ABCNews.com - my thoughts are plopped in, in various places, bolded and in parentheses....

'Breast' Cover Gets Mixed Reaction

"I was SHOCKED to see a giant breast on the cover of your magazine," one person wrote. "I immediately turned the magazine face down," wrote another. "Gross," said a third.

(Shocked to see a breast? Is this person living in the same country as I am???
Turned the magazine face down? Gross? What? Are these people SERIOUS? Have they seen what is at the checkout line at the grocery store lately?? Half naked people everywhere!! WTF??)

These readers weren't complaining about a sexually explicit cover, but rather one of a baby nursing, on a wholesome parenting magazine yet another sign that Americans are squeamish over the sight of a nursing breast, even as breast-feeding itself gains more support from the government and medical community.
(Sad. Very very sad...)

Babytalk is a free magazine whose readership is overwhelmingly mothers of babies. Yet in a poll of more than 4,000 readers, a quarter of responses to the cover were negative, calling the photo a baby and part of a woman's breast, in profile inappropriate.
(Maybe so, its all a matter of personal opinion. Some people just don't wanna see boobie. I can live with that. But to call it gross? Gross? Gross is seeing someone throw up, or stepping in dog shit..not breastfeeding a child...)

One mother who didn't like the cover explains she was concerned about her 13-year-old son seeing it. (She should not take him to the Mall. Those Victoria Secret Ads get larger and larger every time I am in there. At our mall, they have MURALS..they take up WHOLE walls. Half naked women everywhere..Oh and dont forget about all those Calvin Klein ads and Abercrombie ads in the mall too, that have enough innuendo to satisfy that creep behind that large planter over there in the corner!!)

"I shredded it," said Gayle Ash, of Belton, Texas, in a telephone interview. "A breast is a breast it's a sexual thing. He didn't need to see that."
(No, you dumb ass, a breast is a BREAST. Unfortunately we live in a stupid, fucked up society that makes EVERYTHING sexual. You cannot even see a commercial for TIRES for your car without it being sexualized. It is pathetic...)

It's the same reason that Ash, 41, who nursed all three of her children, is cautious about breast-feeding in public a subject of enormous debate among women, which has even spawned a new term: "lactivists," meaning those who advocate for a woman's right to nurse wherever she needs to.

"I'm totally supportive of it I just don't like the flashing," she says. "I don't want my son or husband to accidentally see a breast they didn't want to see."
(This one sent water spraying out of my nose. You show me ONE son or ONE husband that DOESN'T want to see a breast at any turn. Just one!! They may SAY they don't want to see it, but we all know they are full of SHIT.)

Another mother, Kelly Wheatley, wrote Babytalk to applaud the cover, precisely because, she says, it helps educate people that breasts are more than sex objects. And yet Wheatley, 40, who's still nursing her 3-year-old daughter, rarely breast-feeds in public, partly because it's more comfortable in the car, and partly because her husband is uncomfortable with other men seeing her breast.

(People NEED to be educated on this. However, feeding your 3 year old, IS CREEPY. LOL. See previous post!)

"Men are very visual," says Wheatley, 40, of Amarillo, Texas. "When they see a woman's breast, they see a breast regardless of what it's being used for."
(RIGHT! But it isn't the MEN who are complaining about the magazine cover!!)

Babytalk editor Susan Kane says the mixed response to the cover clearly echoes the larger debate over breast-feeding in public. "There's a huge Puritanical streak in Americans," she says, "and there's a squeamishness about seeing a body part even part of a body part."
(What? Dude, even the Amish folk aren't Puritanical anymore. Give me a BREAK!)

"It's not like women are whipping them out with tassels on them!" she adds. "Mostly, they are trying to be discreet."
(Nah. We leave that tassel shit to Madonna....)

Kane says that since the August issue came out last week, the magazine has received more than 700 letters more than for any article in years.

"Gross, I am sick of seeing a baby attached to a boob," wrote Lauren, a mother of a 4-month-old.
( I am sick of seeing Paris Hiltons skanky mug all over the place too. NEWSFLASH! Don't buy/read that issue then, you ass!)

The evidence of public discomfort isn't just anecdotal. In a survey published in 2004 by the American Dietetic Association, less than half 43 percent of 3,719 respondents said women should have the right to breast-feed in public places.

The debate rages at a time when the celebrity-mom phenomenon has made breast-feeding perhaps more public than ever. Gwyneth Paltrow, Brooke Shields, Kate Hudson and Kate Beckinsale are only a few of the stars who've talked openly about their nursing experiences.

The celeb factor has even brought a measure of chic to that unsexiest of garments: the nursing bra. Gwen Stefani can be seen on babyrazzi.com a site with a self-explanatory name sporting a leopard-print version from lingerie line Agent Provocateur. And fellow moms recognized a white one under Angelina Jolie's tank top on the cover of People. (Katie Holmes, meanwhile, suffered a maternity wardrobe malfunction when cameras caught her, nursing bra open and peeking out of her shirt, while on the town with fiance Tom Cruise.)

(You can bet your ASS that if people found out that the boob on the cover of that magazine belonged to Angelina, magazine sales would SHOOT through the roof! Zang!!)

More seriously, the social and medical debate has intensified. The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services recently concluded a two-year breast-feeding awareness campaign including a TV ad criticized as over-the-top even by some breast-feeding advocates in which NOT breast-feeding was equated with the recklessness of a pregnant woman riding a mechanical bull.
(Um, yeah, that's a little much.)

There have been other measures to promote breast-feeding: in December, for example, Massachusetts banned hospitals from giving new mothers gift bags with free infant formula, a practice opponents said swayed some women away from nursing.
(People still should have the choice. Here is another case of the government butting in where they should not...)

Most states now have laws guaranteeing the right to breast-feed where one chooses, and when a store or restaurant employee denies a woman that right, it has often resulted in public protests known as "nurse-ins": at a Starbucks in Miami, at Victoria's Secret stores in Racine, Wis., and Boston, and, last year, outside ABC headquarters in New York, when Barbara Walters made comments on "The View" seen by some women to denigrate breast-feeding in public.

"It's a new age," says Melinda Johnson, a registered dietitian and spokesperson for ADA. "With the government really getting behind breast-feeding, it's been a jumping-off point for mothers to be politically active. Mommies are organizing. It's a new trend to be a mommy activist."
( I am all for generating awareness, but some people just take it too far...)

Ultimately, it seems to be a highly personal matter. Caly Wood says she's "all for breast-feeding in public." She recalls with a shudder the time she sat nursing in a restaurant booth, and another woman walked by, glanced over and said, "Ugh, gross."

"My kid needed to eat," says the 29-year-old from South Abingdon, Mass. And she wasn't going to go hide in a not-so-clean restroom: "I don't send people to the bathroom when THEY want to eat," she says.

But Rebekah Kreutz thinks differently. One of six women who author SisterhoodSix, a blog on mothering issues, Kreutz didn't nurse her two daughters in public, and doesn't really feel comfortable seeing others do it.

"I respect it and think women have the right," says Kreutz, 34, of Bozeman, Mont. "But personally, it makes me really uncomfortable."
(Personally, YOU MAKE ME UNCOMFORTABLE....)

"I just think it's one of those moments that should stay between a mother and her child."
(That is fine. But why should the rest of the world conform to what YOU think?? )

Copyright 2006 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.
(oops!!)

Which boob do you want? !

2006-07-26T23:26:00.000-05:00

So, no more pieces. :O(
I never thought I would be so sad over something so gross. LOL

I met with Maya's future pediatrician today. I liked him. He came highly recommended by my OB. When I told him that, he looked at the paper I had just filled out, saw who my OB is, and said "Oh, yes, she brings her two children here!" Good enough for her? Good enough for me!

I was reading through some message boards earlier. I came across a post where a gal asked "At what point does breastfeeding become creepy?" Everyone jumped all over her, telling her that in no way is breastfeeding every creepy. Well, I agree with that, to a certain extent.

But I can remember one time that I found it...creepy. It was about 16 years ago. My sister had just had her first daughter and we went to the beach. B was sleeping in her playpen, and my sister and I were shootin' the breeze. Then we saw it. An older woman, whipping out her boobs and ASKING the child which boob he wanted. The kid responded by pointing and saying "That one..."

My sister and I just looked at each other, mouths agape. I also took notice at that point that the child had on a diaper. We started saying things like "Oh he must be a lot older than he looks.." etc. No. We thought he was about 5 or 6. We asked the woman at one point how old he was. He was 6.

SIX, in a diaper and STILL breastfeeding.

Sorry, but that classifies as creepy in my book. Not because I think it was sexual in any way, or anything like that. I do not believe it was. It just seemed so WRONG to me. I mean, most people, upon seeing a child that age with a bottle, would be like WTF?? I guess it is just a matter of personal opinion. My sister emailed me the other day asking me if I remembered that day, and it gave me a good chuckle..
It is hard to forget something like that!

I plan to breastfeed. I am going to give it a shot, anyway. If for some reason it doesn't work out, then it doesn't. If it does, great! I will try to keep up until shes 6 to 9 months old or so, or until she bites me, whichever comes first!

Pieces??

2006-07-25T16:55:00.000-05:00

Ok ok, so I HAVE to keep posting here because my sisters and some friends up north use this site to keep up with whats happening.

So. I had an appt. today with my OB. She checked me and said everything is still closed up tight. The baby has dropped though, as evidenced by my measurement this week. Last week I measured in between 36 and 37 weeks, this week I am measuring in at around 34 to 35 weeks. This would explain my achin' pelvic region...

After my last visit, I had some spotting. After this visit, it is...well...different. I am going to get gross here so bear with me. I just went potty, and there were like..pieces in the toilet when I was done. Itty bitty pieces, but definitely pieces of something, not just spotting on the old drawers or toilet paper. Eeee!!

I figure because I am so ready to have this child that I am just grasping at straws here, or maybe its the old plug about to blow? That would rock.

Just wishful thinking on my part... *sigh*

Things on the homefront are much better after some much needed, in-depth conversation yesterday. I am waiting now for him to get in from work so we can chow a yummy dinner ( i am soooo hungry ) and watch a few episodes of House, MD. I wanna tell him about my pieces, but I think it may gross him out.. LOL

Done. Over and out.

2006-07-24T07:45:00.000-05:00

Ok, well..I have made the decision to shut it down here. Got someone hitting the site that I do NOT want here.
So...if you wanna know where I will be, send me an email, or leave a comment and I will email you as soon as I get another domain and all that.
May not be right away..I cannot seem to decided on a good domain name. Or at least a good one thats not freakin taken already...

Tikigirl.net will be going bubeye too. Now worries though, if I have the baby before I get setup somewhere else, I can email updates if you would like..again specify whether or not you wanna be bothered with my emails if I do not have another site in place!

I will also be putting photos of Maya up on Flickr for my extended family up north, if you are in my friends and family group, you will be able to view them. If you aren't and want to be, let me know and I can add you. My Flickr ID is jhenderson.

Its been fun. Thanks for all of your support, comments, and well..thanks for reading. See you on the flip side..!!

(email is jenDOThendersonATgmailDOTcom)

Nesting

2006-07-23T09:28:00.000-05:00

Big time.
Over the last few years I have tolerated mess and clutter less and less. So I didn't think this nesting thing would really manifest itself in me.

Whoa..was I wrong.

Yesterday, instead of sitting around and feeling sorry for myself, I cleaned. My kitchen is CLEAN. You could eat off of the floor, swear ta shit...
I rearranged cabinets, I organized and tossed out old stuffs. Now that everything is painted, I can hang things back up on the walls. I still have to clean the dining room and clean the floors, but one thing at a time.

Hubby and I aren't even dealing with each other at this point. He knows I am miffed. And he doesn't seem to care really. So...pfft. Whatever.

I guess pregnancy has made me look worse than I thought, because he doesn't even LOOK at me these days. I made a comment yesterday about how I guess our sex life is over for now, and he said that hes afraid hes going to hurt the baby. Riiight. He KNOWS he isn't going to hurt the baby. Again, whatever.

I have had enough of feeling like this. I never thought in a million years that things would be this way between us. Our relationship has always been so...magical. So exciting...so electric.

Bah.

Ugh

2006-07-22T08:10:00.000-05:00

I woke up this morning REALLY depressed. I just want to cry.
AS soon as we found out we were pregnant, my husband went looloo...he bought me a new truck,so that the baby and I would have all the room we need (I had an Eclipse...). Then he decided it was time to get that new kitchen we wanted. From there it went on to the new bathroom we needed. Next up was new flooring, not just in the babys room, but the whole house. After that it was "Well, might as well paint the interior!"

I am greatful for all that we have done to the house. And the above is not really a complaint. I am glad that he wants this place to be nice for me and Maya.

I am getting closer to my due date. I know that it could still be weeks before she arrives. I also know that it could be tomorrow, yah know? And I just want some time with him. I want his undivided attention on ME. I am starved for it actually.

Since he was diagnosed with bipolar, it is almost like I don't exist. At least that is how I feel. I spend all my time making sure everything is just so for him. I make sure that he goes to bed and gets up at the same time every day, I make sure that he takes his meds and that he is eating right. One of the meds hes on makes him dopey and sleepy by the end of the day. Actually, he is over medicated, but there really does not seem to be much that we can do about it because he has so much wrong with him...I see to it that he gets to bed without injuring himself... (yes, it is that bad..)

So, when he jumped out of bed at 6 am this morning, and I didnt even get so much as a 'good morning', no kiss, no nothing, I got a bit miffed yah know? He decided he had to get up to start replacing all of the switches and outlets in the house, as well as all of the AC vents...

It is exhausting. I just can't keep up any more. And I don't know how I am going to do it once Maya is here.

He got mad at me when he asked me what was wrong and I told him that I really needed some time with him, his attention on me. He got mad and asked me who in the hell I thought he was doing all of this for...?

I guess for as much as I don't want to be ungreatful, I really am...

This is going to sound sooo lame, but all I really want or need, is a fucking hug...
I have to ASK him for hugs and kisses, because hes going a thousand miles an hour all of the time and I just seem to be in his way.

*cries*

Ow.

2006-07-20T15:44:00.000-05:00

Ok. I am SO ready. NOW.
ugh.

My feet no longer look like my feet. And I no longer have ankles....They have swelled so much that they HURT.

When I was at the Docs the other day, she asked me about the swelling, and I gleefully told her "No swelling!"

That's what I get! pffft.

I have officially reached 'miserable'. Bring ON the CHILDBIRTH.

LOL

( and yes, that is BLUE nail polish.. you know, for the 4th of July! I haven't been able to get to them to take it off. :OP )

And NOW... !!

2006-07-19T09:27:00.000-05:00

a few of my maternity portraits! Man. I have had these sitting here for weeks. I suck.
People have been emailing me, asking me where in the hell they are, and I REALLY have been meaning to just put them up. I am a lump, what can I say?

Many MANY thanks go out to my good friend Robyn. She is my personal photographer. *winks*

She is amazing. I am beyond greatful that I have her to do this for me. I am SO lucky, because as you can see, she does a far better job than those 'other' places can do.

These are just a few. Todd and I have chosen some other ones as well, but those have yet to be touched up...when they are, I will post them for you to see! Enjoy!

My Mom knitted those booties for Maya.... :O)

*sigh*

This is my favorite so far!!

Theres a babeh in there! lol

Amazingly beautiful, no?
She has agreed to photograph Maya once she arrives! I have already removed all decor from my living room to my dining room, so that all of the wall space in there can be dedicated to the hanging of the photographs!!

Thanks again, Rob. It was a seriously wonderful experience and I cannot WAIT to see what you do once she is actually here!!! eeeeeee!!!

tick tick tick tick...

2006-07-19T06:49:00.000-05:00

That ticker up there..you know..the one that tells me that I only have TWENTY THREE DAYS left...is freaking me OUT.

*giggles*

While I am SO ready to meet her, I am not. The house is still being painted. It should be done by Friday. Which means I have a weekend of cleaning to do because this place is under a layer of dust. AGAIN. ( I am NOT complaining. Much. lol )

Her room is still in disarray. While I have this urgent urgency to clean and organize, I just don't have the oomph to actually get anything accomplished. I NEED to get some laundry done today, as well as get Maya's room uncluttered. I have been trying to get to the grocery store for a week now too, so I gotta get that in today as well, or we don't eat. Guh.

What I REALLY want to do, is crawl back into bed for a looong nap. Which WILL occur at some point today... :O)

23 days. Oy.

Week 36

2006-07-18T10:12:00.000-05:00

Almost 37 weeks. Eek. I had a doctors appointment today. The first thing the gal taking my bp said was "Well, you are almost there! If you go into labor now, no one will try to stop yah!" woot. :O)

Blood pressure was good, cervix is still closed up like Ft. Knox... booo! I didn't really expect it to be any different though. *sigh* Aaaand I gained 3 pounds. Good LORD get the ice cream OUT of this house. Oy. Three pounds. In ONE week people.

Oinkmoo.

We registered to have her cord blood stored. There are LOTS of health issues on my Dads side of the family (autoimmune issues and heart problems galore), and I just feel a whoooole lot better in maybe having the potential there for help if something were to arise. I know it is no guarantee, but at this point its huge in the 'piece of mind' department!

So, that is that. Until next time.........

Whoah!

2006-07-17T16:18:00.000-05:00

Eek. She was only 4 days ahead of me as far as our pregnancies went. And she just had her babeh!! All of a sudden this is like...REAL. REALLY REAL. Hah.

With my luck though, I will go to 4372 weeks, you watch. Even though I am so ready. I am willing labor at every turn... *sigh*

Congrats Pammers. I can't wait to see him!!

She's only happy when she's dancin'!

2006-07-13T20:13:00.000-05:00

I.can't.breathe.

She keeps plopping her butt out. At least I think it's her butt. I HOPE it is her butt. LOL

I get all lopsided, and it is SO uncomfortable. Yet I love it. I love feeling her movements. I am getting anxious to meet her. I am not as anxious about delivery as I was a few months ago. I mean, it IS going to happen, one way or another yah know? lol

We have a lot going on here, and I worry how it is all going to affect her. How is her finally being here going to affect us? I do NOT do well when I don't get enough sleep. I have always been that way and it was the number one reason that I never wanted kids.
I get migraines, sometimes I will run a fever...it is really odd. It goes far beyond just being tired. *shrugs*

Everyone keeps telling me to get as much sleep as I can now. How? Do you have ANY idea how much shit I still have to do before she gets here? Guh!

Annnywaaaay....I was just sitting here at the computer for a moment, and she started dancin' so I thought I would post a little something. I will post again after my appointment on Tuesday!

rollin' rollin' rollin'!

2006-07-11T23:28:00.000-05:00

She has found my ribcage. Oy.
She woke me around 4 am, and has been almost non stop all day! I am STILL waiting for her to settle down so I can go to bed!!

I had a Doc appointment today. He didn't check my cervix, said that can wait til next week, but I got the strep swab, THAT was fun. *rolls eyes*

I am getting anxious. About so many things. I will post about it later though cause damn I am tired...

*yawns*

Getting closer..

2006-07-09T22:07:00.000-05:00

We took a tour of the hospital today. I have to say I was WAY impressed. Wow. What a nice place...you know, for a hospital and all. There was one little guy in the nursery. He was so wee, so perfect. Not too skinny and not too fat. He was perfect. He had a full head of hair and he was just absolutely precious. *sigh* I still cannot get over the fact that there is one of those things inside of me. LMAO!!

I cannot believe how much she kicks and moves around. It amazes me every single day.
I really cannot wait to meet her.

:O)

Heading into Week 35 gulp

2006-07-06T21:53:00.000-05:00

Today has been so weird. I have not felt right all damned day. I have been really lightheaded and I feel like someone is sitting on my chest. I cannot seem to get a full breath. My chest and neck have felt tight at times, and my heart feels as if it is skipping a beat now and then. I can feel it fluttering too, which I HATE.

I will have to call my Doc tomorrow if I still feel like this. Any of you ever experience anything like this?

Maya has always been facing my left side. That is where all the kicks and punches have been, until the last few days. It is all on the other side now. And I have been getting a lot more movement down low, lots of punching going on, I guess. LOL

I am SO tired of peeing. Good LORD the peeing. Hah.

I am getting really uncomfy. I really don't want to complain so I guess I will shut my cakehole.

Todd and I went out for dinner last night to the Melting Pot. Man I love that place. Nothing like some yummy fondue. MMMMmmmm. We figured it would be the last time we could get out to a place like that for awhile. It was SUCH a nice evening.

I couldn't help but to think that the next time we go there for dinner, we will need a babysitter! eeee!!

A HUGE congratulations goes out to Statia and her Meester....go send love and good vibes!! This is huge, and even though its early on..well...even more of a reason to send good vibes their way.

40 more days to go. gulp

2006-07-02T11:16:00.000-05:00

I am so tired today. I cannot seem to get out of my own way. I have not been sleeping much at night. All I do is toss and turn, and then I usually have to get up. I spend an hour or so trying to snooze on the couch, due to the unrelenting heartburn/indigestion.

Last night for dinner I had a peanut butter sammich on wheat, some pears and a glass of milk. I was in misery at around 2:45 this morning. How much more bland can I get??? Argh.

And trying to sleep on the couch is a futile effort as I get deluged with cats the minute I sit down. I know they mean well, but damn!

The baby is so active today. Shes been kicking and rolling around in there for hours now. I have been having Braxtons all day, off and on, too.

Which is neat because it is probably the only time in my life where my gut will be nice and hard. ;O)

Some Photos

2006-06-30T14:10:00.000-05:00

from the shower...Just a few as it is all I have had time for!!

The goody table!

The cake!

The stroller!

Parents to be!

The proud Daddy

Daddy being silly!

Week 34 !!

2006-06-30T10:32:00.000-05:00

Holy Moly! Can you say 'slacker'? LOL
We have been so busy around here that I just cannot justify sitting my fat ass in front of the computer for very long. I check my mail and that is about it...

We are getting new flooring installed today. So we had to empty out the living room, and of course that meant that I had to actually CLEAN stuff. Yuk. When the guy ripped up our nasty ass carpet, you could see where the previous owners dogs had been peeing. Freaking gross. I am SO glad to be rid of that shit.

We started painting the hall last night. The new color we chose is SO much better. We are going to do the hall and the dining room, and then let Steve, our painter, do the rest.

I have Maya's room almost all ready. All of her clothes are washed and put away, as well as most of her other things. We still need to change all of the outlets, switches and covers and put up the new blinds, but we have a little time yet for that. Rome wasn't built in a day, right?

LOL

We had the baby shower last weekend. It was wondermous. Photos at the conclusion of this post. I also had maternity shots done, and will get some of those posted as well...(meh, will have to wait til later, I gotta get to my appointment!!)

I am getting large(r), and uncomfortable, but I cannot complain as everything seems to be going along well. I have a Docs appointment today at 12:15. According to my new fancy digital scale, I have gained 4 and a half pounds in two weeks. Good LORD.

It has been nice having Todd home as of late. He starts a new job on the 10th with a really great company. The last place he was at, ugh. It is a LONG as story, one that I will post about on Tikigirl very soon. The whole ordeal has been a great source of unrest for him, as well as for me.

I see that one of my friends is now blogging. I found her by accident. I am not sure if we are still friends though, which is sad. She comments on other blogs, but not mine. Her hubby and mine used to be friends. Not sure what happened there either, other than the fact that Todd feels quite slighted by him...long story, again, that will come to light in my other blog.

Anyway, welcome to the blogging world, Amy.

Week 32

2006-06-19T13:42:00.000-05:00

We had a Docs appointment today. We are measuring at 34 weeks, I lost 5 pounds (!) and Maya's heartbeat was good and strong, in the 140 range.

She is so active these days. It is so amazing...

Just trudging along with trying to get the house in order. It seems like the more we try to organize and clean, the more nutty things get LOL. Her room WILL be complete by Friday if it freaking KILLS me. Our baby shower is Sunday afternoon and afterwards we are coming back to the house, and we are having maternity portraits done. My friend Robyn is an AMAZING, budding photographer and I can NOT wait!!! She has had only boys to photograph thus far and is as excited about taking pictures of Maya as I am! I am so very VERY fortunate to have her to do this for us.

I feel as large as a house. And I still have some ultrasound pics to post. Sorry about that. I got a new computer and I am still transferring stuff over to my new laptop..

I need to go find some Tums...and pee. Again.

:O)

Week 31

2006-06-15T19:25:00.000-05:00

My ticker up top there says only 57 days to go. What? LOL
Where has the time gone??

I have been under a bit of emotional distress this last week or so. I am trying really hard to relax, as I worry what it does to Maya. It is hard though. I think about her pending birth, and the fact that my Dad will never hold her, and it eats me up inside..
*sigh*

The one year anniversary of my Dads passing (and Marks) is right around the corner and it is weighing on me quite heavily. Today is also the 16 year anniversary of my Grandpas passing and that just blows.my.mind. I doesn't FEEL like its been 16 years.

We have also had a lot of other personal shit going on that I really do not want to post about. But it has made life a big, huge mess for the both of us during a time when we are supposed to be happy. I know life isn't fair. I know I should just be thankful for what we DO have, but it is hard. We are doing the best we can though. We will get through it, just like everything else.

It is just hard to wonder when the shit will stop piling up on top of us...

Ok, so a question. We have a border we want to put up in Mayas room and I will be damned if we can get it to stick! It is prepasted...We ended up stapling the shit up there LOL. You can't see the staples thankfully, but what a pain in the ass. This isn't rocket science, you know? The middle sticks ok in most places, but the top and bottom WILL NOT STICK. Argh.

I am feeling Mayas kicks farther up these days, and my bladder feels as if it is her personal punching bag. Oy. The heartburn is still relentless. I should buy stock in TUMS, and Mylanta...Other than that, nothing much is going on. Do not feel much like blogging with all that we have going on around here. I cannot blog the personal stuff because hubby would slay me...even though it would be a great outlet for me. Plus, people involved read the ol blog. At least I think they do. They used to anyway. One of those people we considered a good friend, and the hurt there is pretty deep. Bastard.

Annywayy. I need to just leave it at that! I cannot believe that I am going to be hitting week 32. HOLY CRAP!!

Update...

2006-06-01T09:13:00.000-05:00

I had another ultrasound today...
Maya is weighing in at 2 pounds 15 ounces. Not sure how long she is...I forgot to ask once we saw all of the hair.

Yep. Shes got a full head of hair. You could see it floating in the the fluid. I was amazed, and thus forgot to inquire about her length! I see the Doc tomorrow, so I will ask then. Her heartbeat was 145 bpm, and everything looks good. (but we already knew that!)

I cannot tell you how happy I am that she has hair. I know some will fall out and all that. But still... :O)

It smells bad in here today. They just put sealer on the tiles in the kitchen. Ugh. I probably should run out and do some errands, but in all honesty, I am too damned tired.
*sigh*

I will post the ultrasound pics we got today later on. Todd took them to work to show her off. Once he scans them and sends them to me, I will post. We FINALLY got a good profile shot, we have a shot of the hair, a good shot of her face and a shot of her girly bits. The tech referred to them as her 'hamburger', and I don't know about you, but I find that to be somewhat unsettling.

So much for burgers for dinner...

29 weeks

2006-05-31T12:39:00.000-05:00

Wow. Week 28 blew by so fast I didn't even get a chance to post anything!
And week 29 is just about over as well. Crazy, I tell you.

Today was one of the most fascinating days of my life thus far.

Internet, meet Maya ...

It was simply amazing. As soon as her face came into view, Todd started to cry, and that made me lose it. Not that I wasn't already choking up on my own!

She was extremely active. We double checked to make sure that she was indeed a she. She is. Whew. She was swallowing a lot, and her tummy was full. We even got to see her eating her hand, and opening her eyes.

In a word? Breathtaking.

I thought my heart was going to burst right out of my chest.
Todds reaction to the whole thing was just what I needed, as we have been somewhat off with each other as of late.

She has my chin. And what looks like Todds mouth....

I am so excited to meet her, face to face. I would recommend the 4D ultrasound to anyone. It was about $260 when it was all said and done. Best $260 we ever spent!
My Mom was there, as well as Dad and Janet, and Heather came too.

I am hoping to squeeze in another one around 35 weeks. It was awesome. I can totally understand why stupid ass Tom Cruise got an ultrasound machine. Really. I could sit there and watch her all day long.

*sigh*

Week 27

2006-05-17T23:16:00.000-05:00

This weeks brings LOTS more movement from this being inside of me. I cannot get over how active she is. I love it all, except for when she nails my bladder. Not only does it make me pee a little, it feels insanely weird.

I never thought I would be posting photos like these. It still seems surreal. Pay no never mind to the messy hair ( I had fallen asleep on the couch earlier ), and my complexion is a mess. I didn't have it in me to photoshop the hell out of these to make myself into something I am not. This is me, around midnight, after a nap, and still very tired, in my 80s bathroom in all my glory....be gentle. LOL

27 weeks 5 days along....

And there is nothing sexier than the soon-to-be Daddy painting his little girls bedroom....

We have our 3D/4D ultrasound on May 31st. I am so excited. I cannot wait. Aaaand, the very next day, I have another ultrasound at my Docs. LOL. I didn't remember that my Docs appointment was June 1st. So we get to see her twice in two days! How cool is that??

Week 26

2006-05-11T13:00:00.000-05:00

The tiredness is back. Ugh. I seriously could sleep ALL day.
The kicks are happening more often, and they are much MUCH more forceful now. She makes me yelp out loud sometimes! One of the cats was laying across me the other night, and when she kicked me, it pissed off the cat. It was hilarious. She just looked at me like "What the HELL, lady?"

Watching my belly jump is neat. Odd, but neat.
My emotions are back on a rollercoaster as well. We have the year anniversary of my Dads (and Marks) death coming up. As well as the fact that my husband is facing more back surgery. Not to mention the whole baby thing and OHMYGOD will we be good parents???

Then it occured to me that I AM GOING TO HAVE TO WIPE SOMEONE ELSES ASS!! I will be responsible for whether or not my daughter has an itchy, stinky butt!!!

Diapers are one thing. I can hang with the diaper thing. So why does it seem so vastly different when the person can actually use the toilet?? You would think it would be LESS gross because you don't really have the whole smoosh-factor going on.

*sigh*

So, I am about to head into week 27. This amazes me. I remember back to when I was barely 7 weeks pregnant, hoping every day that I would just make it to 12 weeks. Then, 12 weeks came and went and and I couldn't wait for 20 weeks so I could have the ultrasound where they really check to make sure all is well.

As I sit here on the cusp of my third trimester, feeling her kicks and movements inside of me, I am just hoping these last three months go by a quickly as the first six months have gone.

Because I am really anxious to meet my little girl....

baby bedding

2006-05-04T21:22:00.000-05:00

Ok, so, here are some photos of the bedding. I cannot wait to have the whole room complete. I am going to get the paint and stuffs this weekend, hopefully. Then the painting can begin early next week. !!

Here is one of the valances..

Here is the hamper..

And the front of the crib..

the inside..

and the side...

I LOVE IT!!
:O)

Appointment update

2006-05-04T14:28:00.000-05:00

Just got in from my Docs appointment. All is well!
(No ultrasound today Chas!)

I am measuring at 27 weeks ( I will be 26 tomorrow ), and my blood pressure was great at 108/69, and he said everything is good. I have an ultrasound scheduled for June 1st. What a great way to start off what will surely be a shitty month.

June..I wish I could skip over it. For those that don't know, my Dad died on June 23rd, while I was at my brother in laws funeral. Mark died on the 20th. My birthday is the 5th, and this year on the 5th will mark 9 years (!!!) since losing my grandpop to cancer. Nine years. Unfreaking real. *sigh*

So anyway..another ultrasound. How can one NOT be excited about that!
I am also going to schedule a 3d/4d ultrasound session with a place here in town. I can have my whole family there with us. We will get to watch Maya on ultrasound for 30 minutes, we will get lots of photos and a dvd video of it all. I can't wait!!

Anyway, that is the update for now. Pictures later!

Weeeee for nursery stuffs!!

2006-05-04T12:04:00.000-05:00

The bedding just arrived about 10 minutes ago. Eeeeeee!!!
I already have everything on the crib. For picture purposes only of course, as I have to wash all that stuff. But OMG. It is SO much cuter than I expected. I cried like a big dummy when I stood back to take a look at it.

I have to fly to the docs...pics later I promise!!

Cross posted..

2006-05-03T21:26:00.000-05:00

I posted this on my regular blog, but thought I would put it here too..

We started work on the nursery tonight. Now, yes, we did everything backwards. New floor, furniture, THEN paint. Dumb. I know. lol

But the floor and furniture will be covered when we paint ( with a sheet, NOT paint. LOL ). I am waiting on the bedding to get here before I paint because I haven't made up my mind what in the hell I am doing yet.

We put the crib together tonight. Woo!
the new floor in Maya's room

Maya's crib - side view

And from the front

aaand the changing table...

We have the dresser/hutch combo, but it is still in the garage. We will get it in here tomorrow hopefully. Her bedding will also be here tomorrow, at which point there will be more photos!

(and yeah, I know the pics are too big... I am too lazy right now to resize them, I will do it later!!)

Moving along - Week 25

2006-05-02T22:16:00.000-05:00

We got the new flooring installed in the babys room today. It looks beeyootiful!!
I also started dragging the furniture out of the boxes. We are gonna put the crib together tomorrow ( I hope )...

I was not crazy about the color of the furniture at first. But now that I see it all together...eek. I love it.

The bedding should all be here by Friday. We still have to paint, and that is right around the corner.

Wow. I am going to be a MOM.

*giggles*

I LOVE feeling her kick. Sometimes she does it so hard that it makes me jump. Especially when she nails my bladder. Oy!

Week 24

2006-04-27T22:35:00.000-05:00

I am a little worried that the baby isn't growing as she should be. I see (and feel) no difference in size since my last ultrasound...it is making me nervous. I have an appointment on the 4th, so I will see if I am just crazy then.

I have been a bit more dramatic and emotional again as of late. I hate it. Ugh. I have also been a lot more tired again too. I nap, a lot.

I just ordered the nursery bedding and accessories for Maya's room!!!
We are getting new flooring put down in her room on Tuesday. As soon as the bedding comes in, I am going to get together with my decorator (yes! I have a decorator, my MIL!) to decide on how exactly I am going to paint the room.

I cannot wait to have it all in place!

The heartburn is out of control too. Gotta talk to the Doc about it because it keeps me awake at night.

And, well, that is about it. Nothing much else to report really. :O)

Week 23

2006-04-20T12:26:00.000-05:00

I passed my 3 hour glucose test. Good thing because I was not about to do it again. I STILL have bruises all over my arms!!

What a relief though. Whew!!

Nothing much to report. I am feeling pretty good. The mood swings have totally subsided and I feel human again. For now. :)

She kicks like a karate champ. I love feeling her movements, even though at times it is a bit odd.

We have lots going on here. The kitchen is being remodeled as I type this (woohoo!), we are scheduled for new flooring in the dining room and the babys room, and we have a bathroom remodel coming up. We are also going to get new carpet in the living room and hall, and we are getting that area painted as well. Oh and hopefully there is a pool heater in my very near future! And new window treatments all around too! Whew. It all makes me very tired...but I am excited. We will practically have a new house when it is all said and done. So much for 'Rome wasn't built in a day'! Who ever coined that term never met my husband!!!

After the kitchen/dining room is done, then we will paint Mayas room, and get the nursery in order. I can't wait. All of her furniture is sitting in there in boxes and its driving me NUTS.

I waited too long to sign up for childbirth classes at the hospital. They are full. Kinda sucks, I was looking forward to doing that. I guess it isnt the end of the world...I mean, I kinda know what to expect,and that is that nothing will go as planned! So, I am not planning anything. I would like to make it to 5 cm and then get an epidural. If I can go longer than that, fine. If for some reason I have to have a c-section, then so be it. I want what is best for Maya. And that is it in a nutshell...

Til next time ....

Week 22

2006-04-14T11:55:00.000-05:00

I had my 3 hour glucose test today. I pray that I pass because I am NOT drinking that shit anymore. Ugh.

I have to say, it wasn't as bad as I thought. Never once did I feel icky, other than when I had a needle in my arm. My veins don't like to come out and play, so I had to get stuck far more than 3 times..6 to be exact. I look like a junky.

They let me chill in a room in the back, with a recliner and a tv. There was a woman in there with a 3 year old boy who was also getting a sugar test. Neither of them spoke English. So we all watched Sesame Street, and napped a bit.

I felt so bad for the little guy. He absolutely freaked every time they had to take blood. His momma was just beside herself.

I better pass this damned test. :)

The baby kicks me a LOT. I can now feel her kicks when I put my hand on my tummy. Todd has felt her once, and he says he could hear her in there when he puts his ear to my tummy. Not so sure about that, but whatever.

It makes me wish I was a contortionist, so I could listen too!! Anyone know if I can get a stethoscope at a medical supply store???

They would fast become my new headphones!!

I also think I experienced my first Braxtons the other day. My ute got sooo tight for a spell, then relaxed. Then again...and it was done. Very very odd feeling!!

Well, I am off to make myself a huge sammich. I am starving!!

Week 21

2006-04-04T07:11:00.000-05:00

Dammit. I just sneezed, and peed a little.
Isn't it a bit too early for that to be happening?? LOL

Ugh.

Annnyway...Nothing much to report, really. I registered at Babies R Us yesterday, for my eventual shower. That was fun. :O)
Waay too much cute stuff in that place. It is overwhelming.

I am anxious to get get started on the nursery, but we are going to hold off a bit, as we are getting our kitchen redone in a few weeks. One thing at a time, you know?

And with that, I am going back to bed!!

Ponderings ....

2006-03-31T12:52:00.000-05:00

I have been reading a few blogs that are written by women who are undergoing various stages of treatments, to try to conceive. It is heartbreaking...

I have been pregnant several times, and miscarried each time. Getting pregnant did not seem to be the issue for me, it was staying that way that was the problem. The first few times I got pregnant, I was on the pill. I did not know I was pregnant, and the miscarriages, once they had occured, did not surprise me. However, it WAS a shock to look back and know that I was pregnant, and had no idea. Todd and I did not want children. I always thought myself to be FAR too selfish to ever have kids. I like to get up and go whenever I want. I like to sleep in if I want to. I like it that I do not have to drag a kid around everywhere with me, or find a babysitter before I can go and do something. I liked the thought of not having that kind of responsibility, because lets face it, if you have children, you have the single most BIGGEST responsiblity you will ever have. The thought of being responsible for another human being scared the hell out of me.

Every one always told me how natural I seemed around kids, how at ease I was. Well, I love the little buggers to be honest, as long as they belonged to someone else!! I LOVE babies, and I love the innocence of young children. I love getting down and icky in mud pies, or dressing up Barbie for her big date. I LOVE the imagination of children, and the world of 'Let's Pretend!', I still have coloring books and crayons, for craps sake!! (** note to self ** FIND said coloring books and crayons!!)

Anyway, I am getting off track... When Todd and I got married, we started to feel like something was missing. We started talking about MAYBE having kids. I mean, we are not getting any younger, you know? Well, for the first time ever, I became aware of my ol' biological clock. That sucker wasn't just ringing, it was screaming at me to get moving. I promptly went off the pill, and made an appointment with my OB. I NEEDED to get some of this weight off FIRST. I had been eating right and exercising for quite some time and was not losing anything. She ran some bloodwork, and diagnosed me with PCOS. My hormones were all out of whack and my thyroid was not functioning right. I needed to go on meds. Ok fine. These meds were supposed to kick start my parts that were not playing nice and enable me to lose weight. Great!

Now, this was all new to me. I had never even heard of PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome), and it struck me with immediate fear that after all these years of NOT wanting kids, now that I really wanted one, I would not be able to have any....

What an awful, awful feeling.

I learned as much as I could about PCOS, and learned that I was one of the lucky ones, as my PCOS was very mild. My OB did not see any reason why I would not be able to get pregnant in the future. Whew! GREAT!

Not so much. The pills she put me on made me violently ill. I had to stop taking them. So we discussed pregnancy while being overweight. While she did not recommend it, fat people have babies all the time. She said we would just have to be careful, I would be closely monitored and I would have to limit my weight gain. Fine.)

So, fast forward almost 2 years and 3 miscarriages later...(one year of NO pregnancies at all, and then 3 m/cs in one year)

Those miscarriages cut deep. I wondered what I was doing wrong. I wondered if this is just how it was going to be. I started seeing a fertility doctor. I wanted to know what was wrong. He told me, based on some simple bloodwork, that I was not ovulating, hence no pregnancies. He then talked of all these things that I knew nothing about and it was all quite, well, scary....

I had a lot of bloodwork done. I do not like seeing that much blood, OUTSIDE of my body, thankyouverymuch. They took 10 vials at one sitting. Oy. TEN. !!
At my last appointment, he told me that I had to come in for more bloodwork two more times. Once when I had my period and once when I did not have my period, then we would schedule an HSG test, and go from there. He talked about doing Clomid..and everything after that I did not really hear.

I was going down a road that I had said I would never go down. I had said to myself many times that if I could not get pregnant and stay pregnant on my own, then that would be it. I would not go through all this other stuff. I think most of it was just a fear of the unknown. I still, to this day, do not know much about infertility treatments. I would have learned as much as I could, had I not gotten pregnant, on my own, RIGHT before my HSG test was scheduled.

Upon reading some of the stories that these women have to share, I realize that I am not just one of the lucky ones. It goes way, WAY beyond that.

I am not that strong. Not like some of these gals. There is no way I could have gone through what they are going through. At least I don't think I could have. And it isn't for lack of wanting a child either. That is just one emotional rollercoaster that I am not sure I would survive. I think it takes a special kind of person to go through all of that.

My heart aches for these women. And it makes me appreciate this pregnancy all that much more. Headaches, being sick, and 'roids are such a small price to pay.

If we do indeed go on to something more after this life, these women, they are in for something big. They have to be...it takes a special soul to endure what they endure.

*sigh*

I am going to do my best to never EVER take this child for granted. Now that I know she is a she, and when I talk to her, I can call her by her name, it is even more overwhelming...Todd says goodnight to Maya every night, while rubbing my belly...and I want to explode. The love I already feel for her is much more than I ever thought it could be...

Yep. It's a girl!

2006-03-29T14:16:00.000-05:00

I knew it! A girl.

I am going to have a daughter. eek.
We have chosen to name her Maya Noel...

Our ultrasound today was soo amazing. We got to see just about every inch of her. We saw all 4 of her heart chambers working as they should, she had a full bladder (as did her momma. Oy) and we saw her stomach and her brain and her little hands and feets...

*sigh*

I am so glad to be able to refer to her by name now, instead of 'it'.

So, say hello to Maya!!

Bring on the pink....

Week 20

2006-03-26T18:14:00.000-05:00

The halfway mark. *gulp*

Crazy, really.

I am having issues with my blood pressure. It is too low. I have been getting headaches almost every day. Tension headaches. I am not sure why I am getting them as I have like ZERO tension in my life right now. Sometimes they go away with ease, other times, like last night, they go on and on for hours and nothing helps. I started to get the headache yesterday around 4 p.m. At 3:30 this morning, it started to subside. I was in bed at 7:30 last night, with my head packed in ice. I slept in hour and a half increments. Each time I would wake up, I would go get a new ice pack and a glass of fresh water, which I would promptly gulp down.

I wonder if I was dehydrated? Today, (knock on wood) I feel good. I cleaned house and got the laundry done, clipped coupons, and spent sometime outside in the fresh air. Oh and I took a nap. It has been a good day over all...

I feel the baby moving around in there, but not kicking or anything. It feels like it is doing flips. It is such a weird feeling!

I cannot believe I am halfway there!! We have an ultrasound on Wednesday. I sure hope we can find out the sex at this one! The suspense is making me crazy!!

I will be sure to post an update on Wednesday!!

Weeks 18 & 19

2006-03-21T15:27:00.000-05:00

Nothing much to report! I am feeling pretty good. The headaches are a bit much, but what can I do? I just deal with it!

I am getting larger. A bit annoyed with myself for not being able to lose weight BEFORE getting knockered up, as I have cheated myself out being able to really watch my belly grow. I do not look pregnant, which makes me very sad. *sigh*

Last night as I was sitting on the couch, this baby started doing somersaults or something. It was wild...I watched the hump form in the center of my abdomen, and then it evened out again. It did this a few times, and was the oddest feeling. Odd, yet exciting. :O)

This whole thing is still so surreal to me. I am going to be someones Mom..good LORD, help me. LOL!!

Our next ultrasound is the 29th. As for my 3 hour sugar test, I am holding off, because they are going to make me do it again later on. I KNOW I have a sugar problem, which is why I don't eat it. The 3 hour is guaranteed to give me a major sugar crash, in which I will get a nasty headache, I will get sickly feeling, and I do not like driving like that. So, as long as the u/s does not show any warning signs, I am going to wait until they normally do it. I am following a diabetic diet as it is (with the occasional pizza or ice cream, but I seriously limit it), and I have only gained ONE pound. ONE. (Lets not forget that I lost 10 by the beginning of my second trimester..) I am extremely pleased at that.

And well, that is about it!

Week 17

2006-03-10T23:31:00.000-05:00

I come here and read my own words, and I sit here in disbelief that this is MY pregnancy journal.

I am not quite sure why I can't wrap my head around it all. I have always liked kids, and to be honest I never saw myself with any. I am too selfish and not above admitting that.

However, after Todd and I got married, something was missing. And this is that something. He never wanted kids either. And now, both of us are in such awe over the whole thing that it sometimes seems to border the unbelievable.

My bump is getting larger, wider...its like I have a football in there. My abdomen is much harder, and I am VERY aware of it now. There have been times where the baby has moved from one side of my ute to the other, and it is an odd sensation. There have been times where I thought I felt other movement, but to be honest I am just not sure if it was the baby or not.

Last night, while watching some Eddie Izzard and just about peeing my pants, I felt it. There is NO doubt as to what it was this time. And I was floored.

*sigh*

We got some packages in the mail today, one from our friend Stacey, and one from my Nana R. She is a family friend that I hold dear, and even though we are of no relation, I have always referred to her as my Nana. She called me the other day wanting to know how her great-grandbaby is doing... awww. It made my day to hear from her.

I will post pics of the baby loot tomorrow!

**Note to self**
Get thank you cards tomorrow!! DO NOT SLACK ON THE THANK YOU CARDS.

crap

2006-03-06T12:59:00.000-05:00

*insert Fred Flintstone-type cursing here*

I failed the glucose test. Next stop - 3 hour test. That I BETTER pass, dammit.

I can feel the baby move regularly now. I sometimes feel flutters, but it is usually moving from one side to the other. My bump moves from side to side. It is sorta cute. :O)

Belly pic - week 17. I was laying down. I had been taking a nap, and I dreamt that I went the whole pregnancy with no belly pics because I am overweight. It made me get over myself. I reached up and grabbed my camera and snapped a pic..

Sorry about the glare...it was dark so the flash went off and I had the camera pretty close!!

I have a bump!!

I still cannot believe there is a baby in there..hah.

Week 16

2006-03-01T15:39:00.000-05:00

I had another Doc appointment today. They wanted me to have an early glucose test. Do they make that stuff in any flavor other than orange? Gross.

I also had the AFP screening done today as well. I have not gained any weight, and the Doc said that is good, that she really only wants me to gain 'baby' weight and not weight weight...which was my plan anyway.

She then broke out the doppler, and of course could not get the heartbeat. After I had my blood drawn for the glucose test, they whisked me into the room for another ultrasound. weee!

I was floored at how much bigger it was. I CLEARLY saw feet and hands today, and leg bones and arm bones and the spine, and the little baby butt...then I saw it. OR what I thought was IT.

Me: Um, that is NOT a penis, is it??
Her: HAHAA! Lord no, thats the umbilical cord!!
Me: Whew!! Thank God! I don't think I would be able to give birth otherwise!!

We had a good chuckle, then she told me that knowing gender today was just not to be, as the umbilical cord was in the way and the baby was all scrunched up... I was a tad disappointed, but just happy to see the baby moving around and looking like, well, a baby!!

The heartbeat was good and strong at 152 bpm. It was moving around a bit, but nothing like the last time. I hate referring to it as IT. Argh. I have another ultrasound on 3/29. Hopefully we can determine gender at that time. I STILL think its a girl, so does hubby. We shall see.

I hope I pass the glucose test. I SHOULD, but who knows.

I am really liking my doctors and the staff. They are really great. My friend Heather referred me to them and I am glad that I went with them.

And now...behold the spawn....

For those that see nothing when they look at these, that is the head and face on the right there, and the baby has its arm up over its head...and uh..that is the body just below the head (duh!!) !

Drano test results

2006-02-26T11:10:00.000-05:00

Well, the Drano test was performed this morning.

And it says girl. Which was my gut feeling. We know this isn't a sure way to determine gender, but we wanted to do it anyway! Our next ultrasound is still a few weeks away, so we just have to wait and see what happens then. But my money is on girl..

Week 15 - the skinny....

2006-02-25T13:22:00.000-05:00

So, my 15th week has gone by with ease. I have experienced some muscle cramps in my hips, and I am very well aware of the ligament stretching that is going on. Oy.

The baby moved the other day in a BIG way. I had gotten a cramp, and had twisted myself around to get out of bed in a hurry. I felt the baby move, all the way over to the right. It was SO odd. I had this huge lump there where it was. After a few minutes, it went back to where it had previously been. I have to wonder if it was my fast movements that pissed it off, or if the muscle spasm was that deep, and disturbed my uterus. It hurt like a mofo, man. It hurt to walk for two days after because my hip was so sore!

I am not eating as I should be. I am craving grease in a big way. French fries, pizza, wings. I need to cut it out. I still have not gained any weight. A hop on the scale today showed a loss of another pound. I am not drinking as much water as I should be either, so I am working on that as well. I find these moments of bad eating do not last long, but it still leaves me feeling bad because I am not doing what is best. Ugh.

I am finally sleeping at night. Which is nice. I get up in the morning with Todd most days and just stay awake..no more naps. And my house is clean! I guess I should take pleasure in that while I can...

And now onto something that I find myself getting really annoyed with...
I have been reading various pregnancy journals here and there, and I found a few who were all thin and fit before pregnancy. They now have a baby belly, no fat, no nothin', just baby, and they whine about how they feel like a fat cow. I am sorry, but I want to smack these people.

I have battled with my weight problem for years. It is genetic, along with hormonal. I have had periods of bad eating, but I eat NO different than most people. It is just that because of the hormonal imbalances that I have, whatever I eat goes right to my gut, or my ass, or my arms..whatever. I do not process foods like you thin people do. Which is why I have always tried to eat right and exercise. I have a killer body under this weight. My muscle tone would put most people to shame.

So when I see some skinny ass bitching, I want to scream. You do not know how lucky you are..

And then...THEN...I read one gal who was all "I don't know how fat people have sex because my belly is so totally in the way"

GGRRRrrrr. I will tell you how us fat folks have sex...just like you do! I am not THAT big. I am big all over, but it is pretty proportional. I have never had a problem, any place, any..uh..position (god I hope my mother doesnt read this...) and any time. Now, I do know that really large people who have bellies that get in the way and stuff have issues, so maybe that is what she was thinking of. I just took offense because I am hormonal and considered obese, and it offended me a bit.

I wish these pregnant gals well. I won't be going back to read them just because I cannot NOT comment when they whine about being fat. Puh-lease...

The gals that I DO read (and many of them skinnies) are wonderful and I am happy that they choose to share in the experience. I am also glad that they don't make us larger gals feel like hogs.

I am doing my best (ok, minus the pizza binges) to keep my weight gain to under 15 pounds. At 4 months pregnant and no gain yet, I think I am doing pretty good!

And with that, I am off for an afternoon walk...

oh! One more thing...drano test tomorrow morning. !!!! This whole gender thing is driving me CRAZY. I really think I just want to ...not refer to the baby as 'it' anymore! That seems so impersonal, yah know?

I will post the results tomorrow.

p.s. This post was NOT intended to piss off thin pregnant women. I KNOW the problem is with me, and not them. I was just venting...so...really, my apologies if your skinny self is sitting there thinking "Hmmphh.Bitch" LOL

Week 14

2006-02-19T22:39:00.000-05:00

Dare me to go out in public with this thing strapped to me???

LOL

You know, I don't care how practical that thing may be, I don't think I could use it. Not without giggling like a complete moron...

So, we purchased a crib and a 3 drawer dresser/changing table on Saturday. We got the Babys Dream Generation Next set, all we need is the dresser/hutch combo, which we will get in a few weeks. We got it in Amber. I am so not thrilled with the color at all, but we got it because the store we went to is going out of business, and we got a $580 crib for $350, with the mattress, and the dresser was $459 and we got it for $299. So, I think for that kind of savings, I can get used to the color. While in the store, I started to develop a migraine. We went right home, where I proceeded to pack my head in ice packs. I went to bed. For 5 hours I lay there in misery, unable to sleep. Todd kept changing out the ice packs and bringing me fresh water. I got up around 8, and sat on the couch for awhile. As long as I was completely still, it was ok. Todd went to bed, on the futon, so I could have the bed all to myself. I went back to bed around 11:30, and fell asleep almost immediately, despite my pounding head. When I awoke around 3 a.m. to pee, it was almost gone. I went back to bed, and when I awoke at 5 a.m., it was completely gone. Todd got up around 6, and since I was wide awake, we went for a nice long walk around the neighborhood. We came back home, fooled around (woot) and took a nap. When I woke up around 11 a.m., the headache was back. I was SO pissed off. Todd had to go back to the furniture store to pick up the dresser, as it had been at a warehouse. I stayed home, in bed, in misery. I got up around 1 p.m., Todd made me lunch, and the misery continued until just a little while ago.

I really hope that I can have a few days before I get hit with another migraine. They take so much out of me. Other than that, I feel great. My skin is a mess though. I can barely hide the mess with makeup. Not happy about that, but what can I do, yah know?

I know that some people have it far worse than I do, so I need to quit bitching!!!

Scare of my life....

2006-02-08T14:44:00.000-05:00

We had our appointment with the new OB this morning. I woke up feeling slightly sickly, and I tried to choke down some fruit and water. We were the first appointment. I filled out all of the paperwork that they were supposed to send me in the mail last week, and then a lady came and got me. She weighed me (down 3 pounds...heh) and pricked my finger (I HATE that..) took my blood pressure and then made me pee in a cup.

After that, the Doc came right out to get us. We chatted for a bit, then she took us into an exam room. It took her 20 minutes to come back, and that sorta sucked. Anyway, she did an internal exam (weee!) and then broke out the doppler since we had never heard the heartbeat. She couldn't find it. Ugh. She said not to worry, as sometimes the baby is just behind the placenta. She told us to go out and wait in the seating area for an ultrasound. Fine. But then I heard her telling someone that she was concerned, because I went through the first 12 weeks with no morning sickness..and now I am sick and nauseated a lot. *blinks*

I tried to remain calm. Really I did. I wanted to throw up, and I had to reallllly talk myself out of a mini-panic attack. We had to wait almost an hour and a half! Finally she comes to get us. We go in, I hop up on the table, she puts the goo on my tummy, and there on the screen is our baby, wriggling around like a maniac. At first it looked like it didn't have legs, then it kicked them both out like a litte frog. It was punching and stretching and rolling..it rolled over and we could see baby booty.

It took her awhile to get the heartbeat too, because of all of the movement, and the baby is indeed behind the placenta. She finally got it though, at 162 bpm.

It was the single most amazing thing I have ever experienced. I cannot get over it, at ALL. She printed out some pics for us, and I will post them here, but you cannot see its arms and legs because it WOULD NOT STAY STILL!

The next ultrasound will be around 20 weeks, at which point we can find out if it is a boy or a girl.

I have to say, that after hearing the heartbeat, and seeing an actual BABY in there, it is certainly a lot more real to me now.

Holy. sHIT. !!!

That top one, it looks like an alien! Just below the two hemispheres of the brain (the part at the top that looks like alien eyes) you can sorta see eyes, nose and mouth...
It has its legs pulled up in typical baby fashion in both pics, so it looks legless, and the arms, well, they are just little blurs. That baby did NOT stop moving around, no doubt caused by my stress. I feel sorta bad for stressing it out, but damn, I tried my hardest to remain calm...it was NOT easy.

I am just glad that it all turned out ok.

:O)

Jenhen wanna cracker?

2006-02-07T19:00:00.000-05:00

pfft.

I have had NO morning sickness at all. Maybe a twinge of nausea here and there, but that is it. Until last night. Holy.Crap.

I started getting a headache just before bed. I had only gotten about 4 hours of sleep the night before, and yesterday I worked most of the day and then cleaned the hell out of my house, did laundry etc. I ended up taking an hour snooze around 7 so that I would be awake to watch 24. I felt like shit. After 24, and some news, I grabbed an ice pack for my head and I hit the hay. I woke up at around 2:30 with an awful tummy ache. I went to the bathroom, then went to get another ice pack, as my head hurt worse now than it did earlier. That is when it hit me and it hit me hard. There was NO way I was going to allow myself to hurl at that point. My head hurt WAY too much. I nibbled on some crackers, I sipped some Ginger Ale. That didn't help. I chowed a few Tums. That kicked the severity of it down a notch or two. Then I had a panic attack. I don't know why, haven't had one in years! I went outside at that point because I felt all closed in. The air was cool and crisp. It was a gorgeous morning (3 am!) and I really just tried to focus on that. A little while later I was ok enough to go back to sleep. I was SO tired.

I slept until about 7:45, when Todd woke me up before he went to work. The headache was gone but the nausea was still there and I really had to struggle not to puke. I waited until Todd left, then I got up. I figured I would just go hurl and hopefully feel better, only I couldn't hurl! My tummy hurt again, so back to the bathroom I went. And then again like 20 minutes later. I wonder if it was something that I ate just not agreeing with me?

I made some scrambled eggs, as my tummy was now growling rather loudly. I had some tea, did some work, then took a 2 hour nap. When I got up, the nausea was slight. I had some yogurt, and more tea (water is making me gag...) did a little more work, then around 3, I took another 2 hour nap. I have been ok since then. Waves of nausea here and there, but nothing like last night or this morning.

I have a Docs appointment tomorrow morning. I pray to the powers that be that I do not feel like I did this morning, cause there is no way I will make it out of this house.

bah. I got cocky I guess, boasting of how I never had morning sickness.

*grumbles*

Ugh

Hello Second Trimester

2006-02-04T15:25:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow I enter into my second trimester.
This absolutely blows my mind. A few weeks ago, time seemed as if it were standing still. Yet when I look back, it really has gone by quickly.

I don't feel pregnant, other than my boobs being a bit painful. The sleepiness and the crankiness, as well as the queasyness, has all disappeared. I have an odd craving here and there. We went out to eat the other day ( i cannot get enough Mexican food...) and Todd had a Margarita. I almost cried because I wanted one so badly!! NOT fair, that whole 'NO Alcohol' thing. *pouts*

All joking aside, I really have only craved ice cream and steak. I have indulged only slightly in the ice cream. Because I am overweight, I need to be careful with the weight gain. So far, I have not gained anything. I know that now I have to step up the calorie intake a bit, so I can expect to gain a bit from here on out. I just have to be careful and make smart food choices. I am all stocked up with fruits and veggies, whole grain goodies, and a host of other good stuff. I also need to up the exercise, which has been nil since all I did was sleep.

I am dying to know what this baby is. I want to know so badly. I really tried to just put it out of my mind. If ONE MORE person tells me about how 'back in the day we had no choice but to wait til birth' I am going to scream. This isn't 'back in the day" this is NOW and I want to know! Dammit.

I am also hoping that everything is as it should be. Things like spina bifida scare the shit out of me. I don't care what the sex is really, I just want this baby to have all its parts, and all in the right places and such.

I watched one of those shows on Discovery Health the other day about a baby born without a damned face. I don't know why I do that to myself. Gah. So I sit here and wonder, and hope that all is as it should be. After the last year that I have had, I do not think I could handle, no, wait. I KNOW I could NOT handle any sort of devastating news like that.

We have a Doc appointment on the 8th. I will be 13 and a half weeks at that time.
Wish me luck!! And send calming vibes for my nerves..please!

Note to self...

2006-01-28T11:33:00.000-05:00

Drink WAY more water.
Eat WAY more fiber.

ugh.

POP boing!

2006-01-26T17:29:00.000-05:00

Hee.

Just now...I was laying on the bed talking to Todd about his day. I was telling him how all day today I haven't been able to keep my underwear in place...they keep rolling down in the front (they are low cut)and so I reach down to pull my sweats down a bit to show him and his eyes pop out of his head. Then my hand found it. The bump is there now..you don't have to feel around for it.

I am overweight (understatement of the year...*sigh*) and I knew it would take awhile before I would start to show. Well, at least I thought that is how it would be.

Even from just the other day, there is a big difference. You had to actually sorta push on my abdomen to feel it, now, it is right there. BOOM. And thus explains the underwear problem lol.

That SO made my day...