For those of you that don't know...

I am 32, overweight and childless. I was married for a few years way back when. Luckily we did not have children. I would have been forced to do something crazy, like kill myself AND the child....You think I am kidding? I'm so serious that it hurts. It was THAT bad.

Anyway...I am now relocated and remarried and no longer crazy. I have been trying for about 4 years to lose some weight. I will never be a size 5 and I am ok with that. I would be happy with a size 14/16 to be completely honest.

I do not over eat. I exercise, I drink lots of water. I was doing everything that I was supposed to be doing. I can never lose more than 10 pounds. And even that 10 takes FOREVER to lose. I never stuck to any kind of really healthy ways of eating for more than 6 months at a time, because it didn't do anything for me. I figured "What the hell?! Might as well eat what I want!"
Bad choice, I know.

I had gone off the Pill last October. I had figured that since I really wanted to lose some weight, I would get pregnant immediately, thus thwarting any weight loss plans I had in mind. That was not to be. In November I had my yearly appointment. I told my Doc at that point that I had gone off of the Pill, and that my periods immediately went wonky. They did not do that the last time I went off of the Pill..so I was wondering if anything was wrong. She immediately wrote out some prescriptions.

I hate taking Pills. My Primary had put me on Prozac awhile back because he had diagnosed me with PMDD - Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder. That did not last long. I got fed up with taking them so I stopped. These meds that she was putting me on would help to regulate my periods, would make me ovulate and would help me to lose weight. Fine. At this point I am thinking about how I am 31 years old, ain't getting any younger...I will do what I gotta!

The hormone pills she put me on...wow. I cannot believe how super incredibly bitchy they made me. And the other pills? They gave me awful gastrointestinal issues. It got to the point that I could not eat. So....I stopped taking everything.

I know I know...

I met with a fertility Doc the other day who was wondermous. I have to go back on those pills..that is just the way it goes. He also told me that I never needed Prozac, that the reason for my extreme mood swings was due to my body making too much insulin. When I do not eat right, I get super agitated, angry and short tempered. I never realized that my moods and my eating habits were related, until I really thought about it. Amazing, really.

So, next week, after my husband and his crew are out of my house and in their own office space, I shall start my routine. Up early, breakfast, biking, Pilates, housework, goofing off, lunch, swimming, yard work, swimming, dinner, walk/bike.

I have to have some bloodwork done when I start my period this month to see what is going on with the hormones. After that we will go the route of the meds, I guess. The Doc diagnosed me with mild PCOS and said that in due time I should have no problem getting pregnant.

So that is where I am at. We nookied the other day, and then I had pains like I usually get when I DO ovulate...then yesterday I had some spotting. So of course I am thinking "OMG...could I be?"

Then common sense kicks in and tells me to shut the hell up.

:O)